My Testimony

Some 40 years ago, I found myself very disillusioned with the particular Church of England church I was involved with. The seemingly blatant liberalization of the scriptures by the new vicar, led me to question just whether any part of the Bible was actually true. However, where politics of the day were concerned, this vicar was more than capable of expressing views that in many respects contradicted the teachings of Christ Himself. 

He certainly hurt me personally, and the thinly disguised innuendo's expressed in his sermons (often extolling the virtues of a radical politician in those days) caused me much bitterness.  

Such was my feeling toward him that on identifying what I perceived to be an apparent weakness in his makeup, a weakness common to many men, I speculated on a plan which involved a certain incredibly good looking, "professional lady" I knew. I was considering how I might best persuade this lady, a friend of mine, to "make herself known to him," deducing he would be no match for her charms." 

Fortunately? the Lord had other plans for me and things eventually became so impossible at that church, that I left without the chance to put my devious thoughts in to action. The lady herself was photographed, approaching a perspective client in a car. The photograph was used to advantage by a national newspaper who were running an article on "Vice. "Presumably, as a consequence, she moved away.

Anti Christian

Although being involved with the Church of England from the time I was a choir boy, as a direct esult of the way I felt about that particular vicar, I was very bitter with Christianity in general. I came to the conclusion: 'If this is the church, you can stick it, they're a load of hypocrites," left, and vehemently pursued my secular interest working the clubs as a musician with no moral restraints whatsoever. 

In retrospect, I blamed the church for the views of one minister, which should never be done. But I was young, full of ideals, (despite not living up to them) judgmental and lacked the experience of age. I also delighted in the words of my old music master who had long time experience with the C of E. A friend of great standing, he sometimes used an expression that took on real significance:  "Well boy, I may go to hell, but I'll never get near the fire for Bloody Parsons!" 

New Church, New Beginning.

Some weeks after leaving the church as a disillusioned, angry young man, I again became involved with the C. of E., despite mixed feelings. I received a telephone call from the Rector of a village church situated about 5 miles from where I lived. He had learnt of my availability and as they required a musician, persuaded me to take on the position. 

This church came as something of a shock. Whilst on the outside to all intents and purposes, it appeared as one would expect a traditional C of E, Village Church to be. But in reality it was not, it was as it should be in fact, but certainly was not in accord with current accepted liberal Christian thought. Not only was the Bible preached and accepted as truth, there were members of the choir that were actually making notes on the sermons. This was so out of keeping with what I was used to, I initially thought they must be mad! I soon realised however, that many of the members certainly were not mad, but were caring loving people, and held very responsible positions.

Traditional Service, But?

The psalms, responses and all the then, commonplace traditional aspects of C of E., worship, were very much adhered to. The "traditionalists" did not need to feel alienated and most were very familiar with the various chants & psalms together with the order of service. (Something that now a days is very rare being constantly changed).

The beauty of the book of Common Prayer and the New Cathedral Psalter, I took for granted at the time. Only now do I realise just what a great loss this form of worship, has been. I acknowledge there is room for all good music within the C of E which glorifies God, both modern and traditional. Both were used, but within the well known and loved framework. 

The "Inner Ring."

There was within that church, an "inner ring" of "devout Christians." These people had come to know Jesus Christ in reality, thus, their lives and priorities were completely changed. They could not be termed holier than thou or judgemental, showing real love to the "nominal" Christians also. In fact they were a complete contrast to what I had been used to before.

Assuming I was a Christian.

I had always assumed I was a Christian simply by attending church. Here, I was confronted with the reality that knowing about Jesus is definitely not the same as actually knowing him personally. This was not only possible, but expected. 

To cut a long story short, the love of the Lord by many of this church's members, together with the devotedly sincere witness and faith of The Rector, were influential in my becoming 'saved.' Now I knew how. Not that I was going to give them the satisfaction of falling down on my knees in front of them, ugh pride, but as the Lord works, I became so bound up in sin, and faced possible if not in practice, fulfilled consequences, out of desperation I called on the name of the Lord and asked Jesus in to my life. Became saved in fact. Born Again.

Prayed For

It seems, I had been prayed for too, to this end! ... 

My first real experience of the new birth, followed a few weeks afterwards, although not realised at the time. I was doing a gig at a regular venue and it was going extremely well. People were enjoying themselves and it was what we would have described as a very good night. However, I was hit very hard by uncomfortable thoughts. Is this all there is? Is this the best life can give? Is this the most enjoyment I can ever expect? 

So intense was the realization, that via a series of what can best be described as "mini miracles," I packed up playing out, sold my equipment and derived an interest in SW Radio. Particularly stations of a Christian nature. I still have tape recordings of some of the programme now. 

Antique Clocks

In addition to listening to short wave radio, I became very interested in antique clocks which for a time proved a substitute for my previous great love, gigging. Once I took an old Napoleon's hat chiming clock of mothers to be repaired. I was interested in the various antique clocks on display. The back street shop owned by a character that would not have been out of place in a Dickensian novel, was something of an expert in this field. He was the classic example of an old fashioned craftsman. Coincidently, he listened SW whilst working, VOA (Voice of America) as I recall. Many clocks he had were very reasonably priced and for sale. 

After an initial purchase of a wooden clock (for just three pounds) I soon became "hooked."  

I then wanted to sell my various electronic instruments, in order to buy more clocks. I owned an old valve Lowry organ which I advertised in "Melody Maker," a magazine I used to read at that time. A gentleman who lived near London, loved the sound of valve organs, responded to the advertisement, and wanted to see the Lowry. We arranged a mutually beneficial time in the evening a few days hence, for him to view. 

In order to make sure everything was OK with the organ, I contacted a specialist organ technician I knew, and asked him to check the organ out. This he did whilst I was at work. When I arrived home in the evening, the same evening as the customer was coming to view, I noticed the organ had developed a loud hum. After a while, there was a big flash from the back, and that was that. One dead organ.

Embarrassed?

The customer arrived and somewhat embarrassed I told him what had happened. He was very nice about it and said he would appreciate a cup of tea after his journey anyway. Then he checked the organ out, went to his vehicle, and brought in many electronic components and tools. After tinkering with the organ for a while, it came to life and was soon working well. It turns out he was an electronics engineer by trade.

But even more fortunate was the fact that he himself was a horologist (a collector of antique clocks) and was now more interested in organs! Again, to cut a long story short, the rest of the equipment I wanted to sell i.e. amplifiers, speakers, and a drum machine, were swapped for some of his antique clocks. These included a very nice Grandfather clock, a Fabrique de Paris Minton tile clock, A Bob Pendulum Verge wall clock and many others.

I used to get into trouble of a moral nature and "gigging" provided the opportunities. I am convinced that these "coincidences" were not just chance happenings, but instrumental in my pursuance of more innocuous pleasures. Not that in itself gigging was wrong, but for me, it provided too great a temptation. 

Witness

On putting my new found (but limited) Christian knowledge to a relative, I was taken aback when she told she herself had given her life to Christ. Not only was she born again, but so on fire for the Lord, I realized I was the one that was spiritually lacking. She recommended that I attended a Charismatic meeting at the Westminster Central Hall in London that was to be addressed by Selwyn Hughes' the following Saturday. The theme, "Baptism of the Holy Spirit." With a Christian friend, I attended the meeting and recorded it. (1973) 

The Morning Seminar

The morning seminar was disappointing. A film featuring "Christian" Business men, kept breaking down. The jist of the talk by Selywn Hughes was the way the Holy Spirit had moved on Israel as a nation in the Old Testament, and now, after Christ, the Born Again believer could be individually filled and baptised in the Holy Spirit. 

Baptism of the Holy Spirit Note

There was theological division on: "Baptism of the Holy Spirit," at that time before the all embracing liberalism had completely captured the C of E. The Rector lent me a book with the facts, and left me to draw my own conclusions. I take the view that one receives the Holy Spirit at the "New Birth" but can experience a baptism of "Spiritual Blessings, and sometimes of "Dynamic Proportions." Being constantly filled by the Holy Spirit, is certainly scriptural.

The Afternoon Seminar

The afternoon seminar included the invitation. Those of us who wanted the "Baptism of the Holy Spirit," were to go down to the front. After prayer, many started speaking in tongues and praising the Lord. I was still very sceptical and nothing happened. I certainly was not going to try to emulate the gifts, they had to be real, or not at all.

The Evening Seminar

The evening seminar caused all hell to be let loose. During an inspiring chorus, one of the people there started screaming. Selwyn stopped everything and stated there was a "spirit of fear" here that had stopped many receiving the Holy Spirit in the afternoon. He then went on to bind this spirit in the name of Jesus, and the chorus was resumed. This was certainly not what I had been used to in the C of E. 

During the rapturous singing, every one was conscious of the demonic screams which permeated around the building. Eventually one could hear the screams echoing along the passages in the Westminster Central Hall and gradually becoming fainter. I remember thinking there was not a PA, (Hi Fi system) made that could do that, but even so thought there must be a logical explanation, such was my scepticism still.

At the end of the session, when every body had left and the cleaner was about his business sweeping up, my friend and I were removing the cassette tape recorder and sorting the cassettes. Selwyn and his group were praying with somebody who was obviously possessed judging by the unholy noises being made. The point is though, there was no one to impress if it had been an elaborate con. No point in doing it if it was not real. I realized I had missed out. Excited, inspired still, but still lacking the great Spiritual gift.

In the same time frame 

A short while later, (I can't remember exactly how long as there were so many overlapping things happening to me at that time in my life) I gave a lift to a couple of Christian Guys who were involved with a fairly local church. (This church went on to be the foundation of the Jesus Army.) I had attended their church a few times and supernatural things were happening which had stirred up much interest including a TV program about them. Strangely enough the two passengers informed me that I needed the Baptism of the Spirit and invited me in to their home, to pray for me. 

I made some excuse, hadn't much time or something similar, but never the less agreed to have a cup of tea. Once inside they took the initiative and they prayed with me that I would receive the gift. And yes, I certainly experienced something, and started speaking in tongues. 

Immediate Temptation

No sooner had I left though, wanting to believe it but still not fully convinced, than I found myself following behind a car with a very attractive lady driver who had a young child in the back. Nothing particularly unusual in this you might think, except for the fact she was smoking a very large cigar. From that time onward and for the rest of the afternoon, I found myself completely obsessed with very lustful thoughts. So much so that in the evening I actually picked up a "lady of the night." I forget all that happened then, I know we did not have sex, but came very close to it.

Never felt more miserable

When I eventually arrived home after my encounter, I was feeling as miserable as sin. I can quite honestly say I have never felt so convicted of sin in my whole life. I went to bed, knelt down and vehemently prayed for forgiveness. It was as if I was praying to a brick wall. No comfort was obtained and I felt completely empty. I had received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and had immediately sinned. I felt terrible and thought I had really blown it and was doomed to hell and damnation.

Eventually I went to bed still feeling completely empty and miserable. I started to think about what had happened and what could have happened. Lustful evil thoughts permeated my mind. I thought I had completely blown my salvation now anyway, so tried to derive what small comfort I could by reminiscing on the evening. 

Communication

I was near to dropping off, when I heard a clear voice outside of me. The voice after attracting my attention, just gave me a scripture, nothing else. Still half asleep, I pulled myself together and reasoned that I should check it out anyway. I took the New English Bible and looked the verse up. Can't remember the context exactly, but certainly remember the scripture if not word perfect now.

"Jesus knew what they were thinking," (certainly been doing that, thought I'd completely blown it) and said, "Why do you harbour such evil thoughts, (exactly what I had been doing) "do you not know that the Son of man has power on earth to forgive sins?" OK, it took a minute or two to hit home, but what followed was incredible. 

Suddenly a complete transformation came over me and I found myself walking the room as happy as could be, praising the Lord and speaking in tongues like there was no tomorrow. What a shot in the arm, never will I forget that experience. Thank God for his mercy. 

Sequence of events

Many things were happening to me over a fairly short time period. Looking back now, whilst I can remember some of the events, I cannot put them in to chronological order. In retrospect, I wish I had kept documented records.  

Our "Haunted" House

In our house at the time, we had experienced some strange happenings. Nothing too serious and we tended to take them for granted. I live in a double fronted house and was prone to play my stereo very loud. This could be done without disturbing the neighbours as it was situated in the end room of the end house. On some occasions, whilst knowing there was nobody there, I used to hear banging on the bedroom floor above. As if somebody was annoyed at the music, and complaining. Didn't really worry about this, used to joke about it in fact, upset old "Fred" again. 

However, a lady who was our chief bridesmaid stayed for a while. One night she woke up screaming. On investigation, she informed us she had seen an old lady bending over her bed. One night, I woke to hear the hot water tank filling up. I found the taps at the various sinks, were turned fully on. My late Mother also stated she had seen an old lady looking out of the window. Even so, we did not consider these things to be too big a big deal. But after replaying the cassette tapes I had made at the Westminster Central Hall previously, the "presence" took on a more foreboding and frightening nature.  

Recording Christian Radio

During this period again, a Christian friend used to come over of a Sunday night and we listened to the Christian recordings I had made from the various Christian radio stations. Notably HCJB & TWR. My old Halicrafter, (former ships radio) was in the bedroom and was sometimes used to tune in to the stations, although I had other SW sets as well. 

3rd Party Witness

On one of these occasions, I had gone down stairs for something. On returning my friend informed me he had just rebuked a spirit. He said the door had opened and a very cold and evil presence had entered the room. He said I ought to tell our Rector about it. I said I would but first wanted to investigate whether something more natural might have been the cause. I started swinging the other doors to and fro to see if may have been a draft. 

There was in fact an electric cable jammed under the bedroom door in question which supplied power to the sound resistant cubicle I had built. With limited facilities to record directly from the radio to my tape recorders, I sometimes used a mic. The bedroom had the old fashioned 5 amp round pin plugs, 13 amp plugs were comparatively new then and the supply to the cubicle came from an extension lead plugged in to the one 13 amp plug on the landing. 

Despite my draft making efforts, the door did not budge and knowing my friends integrity, I agreed to tell the Rector. This I did and provided him with as much information as I could relating to my experiences. Fully expecting he would drop everything and come and get it sorted straight away.

The Exorcism

A few days later, the Rector and his wife showed up in the evening. I remember in particular his wife praying, and then she accurately described our cellar including the positioning of the shelves. She had never been down there. 

Then they prayed over my two children who were just babies then. The rest of the bedrooms were also prayed over. Subsequently, the down stairs rooms were prayed over too and nothing un toward happened. 

Then it came time for the cellar. I was naturally very curious to go down there with them, but they insisted on going alone. After a while they emerged and informed us that the problem had been down there by the cellar steps. Also everything was all right now, the problem had been dealt with, and not to talk about it. I wanted to knock the wall down to see what was behind it. 

Footnote

As a footnote, approximately a year later, I was clearing out the cellar and on moving some stuff from in front of the wall, (the cellars very untidy) I discovered some bricks were missing, about three in all making a hole. Curiously I put my hand through and found an old flintlock pistol! After praying that any phantasms or projections associated with it, would be destroyed, I eventually sold it. What I then did was to use some of the money to pay a hooker to come on a boat trip with me and another Christian friend. 

The Boat Trip

The time preceding the trip, my friend and I were both walking a tight rope. On the one hand we desired winning this "lady of the night"  to the Lord, but on the other, we were both facing very obvious temptations. The trip however went well and "M" had a go at steering. But apart from allowing ourselves the pleasure of a kiss, we did not otherwise succumb. She had a little knowledge of the Bible all be it with parts of the old & new testaments mixed up. However she eventually gave her life to Christ. First convert, we were thrilled to bits. Nothing more pleasurable than saving a persons life for eternity.

The Sister

I subsequently wrote to her and if my memory serves me correctly, gave her a Bible. One letter addressed to her, was replied to by her sister, who was also on the game. She informed me that "M" had gone to Birmingham, but she (the sister) wanted a chat.

Taking the step of faith, I went to her home and talked of the Lord. Flatteringly, she even ignored punters knocking at her door whilst I was there. This happened on a few occasions but unfortunately my witness ended un satisfactorily. She suddenly started accusing me of ringing her at all hours, something I hadn't done. I suppose now, this accusation may have been an excuse to get rid of me, or someone had been ringing her, and she assumed it was me. But obviously I was no longer welcome in her house.

It was about this time I realised that when one witnesses to a "professional lady" in order to win her salvation, one stirs up a hornets nest and a good knowledge of "Spiritual Warfare," is desirable. Any liberal Christian who does not believe in the powers of darkness and Spiritual Warfare, should try it sometime.

Satanic Attack

Another "happening" is remembered around this period. I had told a Christian friend that I sometimes experienced attacks of a satanic nature, inflicting me. He asked if I had anything that was part of my past that the devil could latch on to. I remembered that when I was gigging, I had kept a diary of my indiscressions in the form of a note book. I had drilled a hole in it and put a padlock through. Ironically, I had hid it down the same cellar. He insisted that I destroyed it.

We both went down to retrieve the note book, found it, and then I could not find the key to unlock it. BOTH of us suddenly felt extremely fatigued, like we had done a weeks work without sleep. Quite frankly, an evil darkness came over us both and whilst the Christian has ultimate power and authority over such, this evil presence was so frightening, we were both literally scared to death. We  struggled back up the cellar steps, entered the front room and threw the book on the coal fire.

The very real evil presence was all around us. We both hit the floor and were fearfully praying. But still the evil was there. Can't really remember what further happened, except the book was burnt, and obviously we came out of it ok, else I would not be writing it down now. 

The Business

Later on I had a small business. Very specialised and there were very few people engaged in the same line of work. Things were looking good and together with a wonderful now unfortunately deceased employee, the business was prospering with a large turn over and significant profit margin. The nature of it was such that in addition to supplying some major firms, we also had customers who were relatively small. These we looked after well too.

Then came the Tory (Margaret Thatcher) years and I soon found I was owed a lot of money. The country was in a recession and again to cut a long story short, I lost £20,000 in bankruptcies which nearly bankrupted me as well.  However, I still had one reasonably large firm I dealt with and a few small ones. Then, out of the blue the larger firm cancelled their order. A competitor had undercut me and gained their custom. 

But, I was really walking in faith and in a close relationship with God at that time. Although I was asked, what was I going to do now, how would I survive and pay the bills and all the other negative criticisms, I was not in the least bit worried, such was my faith in God. I may have seemed mad, but I confidently stated the Lord would find a way. It was real trust, no messing. In fact, the memory puts my present walk, to shame. 

About a week after losing the order, out of the blue I had a telephone call from the works manager of this firm. He said he would quite understand if I refused, but they had been badly let down and would I continue to supply them. I had 15 articles of their product made, and said I would, but wanted cash on delivery, This  was agreed to. I then somewhat casually, (still at the back of my mind not ruling out coincidence) praised the Lord and thanked Him.

But something was wrong, the intimacy I had felt before, was no longer there. I remember asking the Lord what the problem was. Knew I was not as appreciative as I could be, but it perhaps was just coincidence.  I later received a phone call from one of my smaller customers. He said, Hey did you hear what happened to "X" (the firm that had taken my order) I said  I understood they had some problems, and couldn't get the work out. "Problems," he said, "their whole dam factory collapsed and they were only left with one machine they could use." What caused that I said. "No one knows, it's a mystery." Then I really and heart feltingly did praise the Lord. And He no longer became distant. 

The Mystery

Such is the hypocrisy of business, soon after that I was having lunch with the manager of the business that had pinched my order. I said, I heard you had a few problems, what happened? I was informed that the factory had collapsed and despite having surveyors in, which involved digging big holes in to the footings of the factory, no one could find an explanation as to why the factory had collapsed. Pure Coincidence of course .........?

Seamy Side Again

One day I happened to be driving along a street that was sometimes frequented by prostitutes. On this occasion, a very attractive lady caught my eye. When I looked back, she turned away. Don't think it bothered me too much, as I was not looking for business. However, I was a little curious. A few days later I tracked her down having a drink in the nearby pub. Again to cut a very long and involved story short, we developed a friendship that lasted some 25 years.

I was always trying to bring her to the Lord, and she always thought she was too bad to be saved. She had had a strict Catholic upbringing that was very law based. On the plus side, she had no doubts about there being a God. She also knew the implications if there wasn't. She fully understood them.

She absolutely delighted in her profession and loved what she was doing. The times when I have sat in her house talking with her and the constant interruptions as she had a client, are very many. However, I constantly prayed for her. 

Late Night Bible Reading & Prayer

During this period, I always looked forward to late night Bible reading and prayer. I can honestly say that at that time also, my understanding of Proverbs 5, 6,& 7, (much reference to prostitutes) was somewhat superficial. I did not take it too seriously. The Lord shown me the proof of what was written there through this lady, line by line, verse by verse. Basically, I knew what was going to happen next. It was like a play, and I had the script.

After some months of praying and not  visibly making any progress with her spiritually, one evening, well at 1.20 am (still evening to me) I really contended with the Lord and asked Him to convict "X." I remember the time especially as because of a bad memory, I had now taken to writing notes of my prayerful experiences. My prayer was very fervent. I might add that also, like so many, I had become completely infatuated with her. But, I also knew, whilst still hoping, that I had to lay this aside in the main cause, that she would get saved.

The power of prayer

This prayer for conviction had been on the Saturday night. (Early Sunday Morning) That same Sunday morning, about 7.00, I had to take the wife to work. On returning home, I received a phone call. It was "X." She asked me if I could pick her up from a friends house. She was very shaken. 

Dutifully, I drove to pick her up and she was indeed in distress. Her stockings were torn and she generally looked like she had been through a mangle. She asked me if I would go with her to her house and check it out before she would go in. I obliged and was then given the full story of what had happened. 

"X" had been soliciting during the early hours and succeeded in picking up a punter. They went back to her place, went to the bedroom and were about to do business. Then the (almost classic scenario) wardrobe door opened and a man appeared. The punter took flight and ran down the stairs and out.  

"X" was herself pushed down the stairs by the intruder causing her severe bruising which she showed me. The intruder escaped also and "X" distraught, went to the house of her friend, also on the game. From where I picked her up. What time did this happen, I asked. Oh it would have been about twenty past one. 

Point of Entry

On investigating the house, I found the glass in the back door had been smashed and undoubtedly used as the point of entry by the intruder. "X" became very worried about the security aspect. I can't remember whether she accompanied me or not, but I then chased a round to track down an engineer I knew. He was adept with wrought iron work and I wanted to see if he would make decorative security grills to cover the windows internally. That started a new line of business for him incidentally. He measured up, and a few days later, I installed the security grills for"X" over the windows. (Footnote, usually one waited weeks to get anything made by this engineer).

Anyway, back to the Sunday morn. The time was getting on and I had to do my job at church at 11 am. On arrival I explained all that had happened to the Rector. (I was completely at ease in keeping him and the fellowship abreast as to what I was about).

That Sunday afternoon I visited "X" to see how she was. It's amazing how quickly a "professional woman" recovers. Still some what shaken though, I persuaded her to come to church with me that evening. She did, and did not dress down for the occasion either. Red High Heels, Short Skirt etc. The Rector asked her how she was now, and gave words of comfort. She sat by me whilst I did my musical duties. Most knew by then what she did for a living, and she was still lovingly welcomed. She attended three other services at different times after that, including the nine lessons and carols. 

Incident

One evening I was telephoned late and asked by "X" if I would go to her house. Apparently a distraught punter had broken her front window and was using threats against her. She had rang the police, but hey had not turned up. On my arrival, the guy disappeared and I swept up the glass, got hold of the police myself, and the community bobby eventually showed. Explaining all that had happened, "X" was somewhat comforted. So I left.

When I arrived home, I found the doors had been locked and bolted, and I could not get in. My other half was obviously not happy about what I was about. I subsequently returned to "X's" house and she said I could stay. She rang the wife to try to explain, but was hung up on. "X" then moved her little daughter out of her bed, and said I could sleep there. (Not my idea) I remember having the distinct impression of being pushed further down in to some evil abyss whilst I lay there. On waking, "X" brought me a cup of tea, and I headed home not knowing what to expect and praying hard.

On arrival home, I found my wife was there with my parents. Not a very good scenario. But I had prayed, and things eventually settled down.

Two Christian Ladies

Another incident that comes to mind. "X" developed a lump in one of her breasts. Fortunately, it turned out not to be serious. During her time in hospital, she was befriended by two Christian Ladies from an evangelical, non conformist church. When "X" was discharged, they paid her a visit. "X" rang me and asked me if I would go to her house to meet them. These ladies were so in love with the Lord, so spiritual that "X" was positively squirming as they talked with her, but then, so was I. All I could do was to feed them the right questions. i.e. How did you find Jesus and the like. Two lovely Christian ladies that had quite an impact on "X," and me.

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