Advertise Your Business Or Website At HomewithGod.com


When you THINK you have a bad day, remember this one from a young mother........ I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards.Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror---wearing nothing but a camera!


MY FOOTSTEPS?
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four year old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?



A WISE LITTLE GIRL
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter. Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, I'm Jane Sugarbrown.

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?She replied, I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.


TOO ROUGH
A little girl asked her mother, Can I go outside and play with the boys?
Her mother replied, No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?


THUMB SUCKING
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his  thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, If you don't stop
sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."
Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, Uh-oh .. I know what you've been doing.


THE LORD'S PRAYER
A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. Lead us not into temptation, she prayed, but deliver us some e-mail, Amen.


SO KEEP THE SINGING DOWN, OK?

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?
One bright little girl replied, Because people are sleeping.


THE PRESSED LEAF

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible.; With fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them.; Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. Momma, look what I found, the boy called out.What have you got there, dear? his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: It's Adam's suit!!


Church Bulletin Bloopers

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

A National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: The cost for attending the  Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.

Miss Charlene Mason sang I will not pass this way again giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing Break Forth into Joy.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church.

Don't let worry kill you off -- let the Church help.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the  church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of  several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -- prayer and medication to follow.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jackson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpeting. All wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Al & Pat's Calling Cards
Golfing with Dad
Home
Pat and Al's Recycled Humor Page
Page 2 Al & Pat's Recycled Humor
Page 3 Al & Pat's Recycled Humor
Page 4 Al & Pat's Recycled Humor
Midi Music Page
Inspirational Short stories,Thoughts & Poems
Receipe's
Get a Peek!
Link Page
Toolshed
Anniversary
Acknowledgement
Page 1 of 50th Anniversary Party
Page 2 of Anniversary Party
Page 3 of Anniversary pictures
Page 4 of 50th
page 5 of the 50th
page 6 of the 50th
page 7 of the 50th