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An Empty Feeling
Sitting there beside you
in that different atmosphere
as your body is filled with chemo
and we are filled with fear
I cannot help but look around
at all the people there
each with a drip machine
sitting by their chair
doing what they must
in an effort to survive
fighting their own war
just to be alive.
And a hell of a war to fight
a fight that isn't fair
no mercy in a silent enemy
causing nothing but despair.
Poisoning your own bloodstream
is your only ammunition
you take it and you fight
praying for remission.
Some have lost their hair
and sickness has set in
but they will do what it takes
to be well once again.
Reaching to an inner spirit
for the strength to cope
hanging on so tightly
to every ounce of hope.
Watching you and others fight
at times I feel so empty
no matter how I try to help
I can't bring you victory.
Eileen Breedlove
January 6, 2003
Searching
I watch you going on with life
as though there's nothing wrong
I see you fighting for the strength
just to carry on.
I wish I could see inside of you
every change the chemo makes
the good things and the bad things
every turn your body takes.
I ask how you are feeling
you just nod and say OK
but your eyes show the suffering
you are faced with every day.
Worry that overwhelms me
does nothing but create fears
the heartache that I feel
turns on a stream of tears.
I search to find the faith
to do what I must do
turning you over to God
believing He will heal you.
Eileen Breedlove
January 9, 2004
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