Index
(1)
(2)
(3)
(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)
(9)(10)(11)(12)(13)
(14)(15)(16)(17)(18)
(19)(20)(21)(22)
(23)(24)(25)(26)(27)
(28)(29)(30)(31)(32)
(33)(34)(35)(36)(37)
(38)(39)(40)(41)(42)
(43)(44)(45)(46)(47)
(48)(49)
The Letters
To Mother Marie-Francoise de Saumaise, at Dijon
(1) (End of June 1678)
Most Honored And Dear Mother,
It was not without mortification nor from lack of friendship that I
chose to deprive myself of the sweet consolation of writing to
you and telling you that I shall always have the same esteem for
Your Charity. Since you are well aware that Our Good Master has
intimately united my heart and yours, I am not at all afraid that
they will ever be separated except by Himself. Since words fail
me to express the gratitude I feel for your motherly tenderness,
it must suffice to say that I shall continue to remember it in
quite a special way before Our Lord.
I beg Him to bestow on you
His most precious graces and loving caresses during this wonderful
time of retreat. I am sharing its delights with you.
A word about the blessings with which His goodness is favoring me
at present. I can only describe them by saying that my whole life,
body and soul, is nothing but a cross. Yet I cannot complain,
nor do I desire any consolation than that of not having any in
this world and of living hidden away in Jesus Christ crucified,
suffering and unknown, so that no one will have any compassion
on me nor remember me except to increase my suffering.
I flatter
myself, dear Mother, that you are too interested in me not to
rejoice at this. Thank Our Lord who, after Himself, has nothing
more precious than His love and His cross. By His Mercy He
shares them with me. I know I am most unworthy, too, of the
one He has has given us in the person of our most honored Mother.
I cannot sufficiently express my esteem and affection for her
charity. i have already experienced this charity many times,
and can assure you that I think Our Lord will fulfill His
promise through her. I beg Him with all my heart to do so in
order that He may draw from this all the glory He desires.
It
was this dear Mother who told me to write at this time. Because
of a slight indisposition, and also because you will be overwhelmed
with letters just now, I would have put it off. do not hurry
to answer; for no matter how you treat me, I will not
doubt your afection for me. In time and eternity, in the Sacred
Love of Jesus, I shall be
Sister Margaret Mary
Blessed be God!
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(2) July 10, 1678
Most Honored Mother,
May the sacred fire consume our hearts unhindered and make of
them thrones worthy of a holy love. I have too often experienced
your goodness to think that my silence makes you doubt the
affection and respectful friendship I have for Your Charity.
You have drawn me to love you in more ways than I can express. You
have drawn me to love you in more ways than I can express. My
silence will speak better, dear Mother than my words.
I think you already know the occupation to which obedience has
put me. May Our Lord be blessed in everything, since nothing can
stop us from becoming wholly His.
Yes, dear Mother, the Lord is
indeed good in continuing always to show the same kindness and
mercy towards me, His unworthy slave, regardless of my infidelities
and weaknesses so well known to you. Help me to thank Him for
these and for all His other gifts. The one I cherish most, after
Himself, is the precious treasure of His cross.
It is the only
consolation I have in this life, a life too long and desirable
only for the occation that it gives one to suffer, especially
those precious humilations which cause us to be forgotton and
despised by men. Happy the souls thus blessed in the service of
the Lord! I beg Him to accomplish His designs in you. When before
Him i do not forget you, nor the very honorable Mother Boulier
either. I have a very special esteem for her.
Please recommend to Our Lord the Misses Bisfrand. They are much
put out by not getting any more news of Reverend Father de la
Colombiere, I do not know whether you have forgotten to tell us
in your letters what you promised you would or whether you simply
thought it better not to do so.
I shall always be satisfied and feel
the same towards You Charity no matter how you treat me. Rest
assured of this and believe me entirely yours in His holy love.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(3) May, 1679
I assure you dear Mother, that I was very consoled at the pleasure
you have given the Lord by embracing His cross with joy and
submission. he has completely covered it with roses, it is true
lest you be frightened by it. But what really ought to give you
the greatest joy is to feel the pricks of the thorns hidden
beneath the roses. Then it will please the Lord to make you like
unto Himself. Then He will make you see that He is not less
lovable in the bitterness of Calvary than in the sweetness of
Thabor.
To Sister Louise-Henriette de Soudeilles, at Moulins
(4) (1679 or 1680)
Most Honored Sister,
I beg the Sacred Heart of Jesus to deign to consume ours in
the flames of His holy love. This love I think it is that in-
duced you to honor with your acquaintanceship one whose great
wretchedness constantly urges her to live unknown and forgotten
by men. But if Our Sovereign Master wills it otherwise, I consider
it a great privilege to have a little remembrance from you before
Our Lord. He grants me the favor of returning in a very special
way the affection which Your Charity shows me, though I am very
unworthy of it.
God can, however, draw glory from our least
actions when He so wishes, and I trust He will obtain glory from
the desire His goodness has given you that we share in a special
way each others spiritual goods, I can assure you that I never
do anything good, but God in His Goodness lets me appropriate the
treasure of the truly poor, that is, the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Its infinite riches can amply satisfy our great indigence. We must
associate ourselves with this precious Good, placing in this
Sacred Heart all the good we can do with the help of His Grace,
then exchange our hearts for His and offer His to the Eternal Father
in place of our own.
This adorable Heart, then, beloved Sister, must be the center
of our true friendship and our place of retreat. There we can
live safe from all storms, and will see and learn to know each
other. I assure you that I have already paid you some visits
there. I think love has already given you a place of preference
in It.
I myself am aspiring to one surely, but I have not yet
fulfilled the conditions required for entering. These are: A heart
that is pure, free from all desire and affection, humble and
completely given over to doing perfectly what pure love demands.
This love wants to be in full possession so that it can dispose
of a heart at will. I beg Him never to let us resist Him, and
that our friendship be completely in Him and for Him.
I hope, most honored Sister, that you will be so good as to
excuse me for talking to you this way. I cannot but tell you
frankly what I think. I have the greatest esteem and affection
for Your Charity, and am completely and unreservedly yours,
most honored Sister, in His holy love.
As for what you asked me to recommend to Our Lord, I trust He
will be glorified by it in proportion as you are submissive
and abandoned to His good pleasure, which should strip us of
all self interest if we really want to do His will. If God
is satisfied, we ought to be content. I am sure you desire
nothing else. Neither do I. So let us love Our Lord and give
Him everything without reserve. By this same love I conjure
you, beloved Sister, to undeceive yourself in my regard and
not to think me to be what I am not.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Moulins.
(5) Around 1680
I am afraid, dear Mother, that because of my continual resistance
to grace I am an obstacle to the glory of the Sacred Heart. I think
He gave me to understand how much I shall have to suffer for this
same love, and that the graces He has given me were not so much
for myself as for those He will send to me. These I must tell
simply what He inspires me to. He will add to my words the unction
of His grace and draw many hearts to His love. I am always concious
of this when I resist Him.
I am not forgetting you before the Lord. He takes from me the
power of writing as I would wish, so that, when I take up my pen,
I do not know what to write. I therefore let Him do it and abandon
myself to Him. Life is such a heavy cross for me that I have
no consolation but that of seeing the Heart of my Savior reign.
He gives me the pleasure of suffering something special whenever
this Devotion makes some new advance.
But there is nothing that
i would not be willing to suffer for that. Even the most bitter
sufferings are sweet in this adorable Heart, where everything is
changed into love. I would like to be able to avenge on myself
all the injuries done my Savior Jesus Christ in the Blessed Sacrament.
I am, as you know, wholly yours in the Sacred heart of Jesus.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(6) 1680
Most Honored Mother,
To me it is a sweet consolation to receive news of you, though
I seem to be indifferent to news from others. You are always
my good Mother, for whom the Lord gives me and inexpressibly
great affection. Neither can I forget you before God. I beg Him
to see to it that all His designs on us are carried out. May
it be the same with regard to Madame de N., who is now with us
with the view of becoming a relgious in accord with her earnest
desire for doing God's will.
I recommend her to your holy prayers,
together with Reverend Father de la Colombiere, of whom you ask
news from us. He informs Madam de L. that his health is not yet
restored. I myself, though, have had no letter from him. It is
not that I have not given myself the privilege of writing to him;
he simply has not judged fit to answer me. But no matter how
he treats me I am always satisified, because I know we wish only
the will of God, to which he is very submissive. This is all
the news I can give you of him for the present.
With regard to Communions, I shall under obedience do what
Your Charity asks. would that I could show you my concern
in everything that concerns you, for the interests of Our
Lord. I know these are dearer to you than anything else.
I leave to others the consolation of sending you the news.
I am not good at that. Beg the Lord to make me worthy of
accomplishing His will in everything, and that we may be
able to love Him above all things. In this love I am completely
yours.
To Sister Louise-Henriette de Soudeilles at Moulins
(7) From our monastery in Paray, June 6, 1680
Most Honored and Beloved Sister,
I pray the divine Spirit of love to fill your dear soul with His
most precious graces, and our hearts with the most ardent flames
of His love, so that we may act only according to His inspirations.
He would give me an especially strong impulse to respond to
your kind attentions, beloved Sister, if my unworthiness did
not always dishearten me. I cannot understand how anyone can
continue to remember such a wicked creature.
I do, none the less
cherish you and love you in the Sacred Heart of Jesus more than
I can say. Since I can do you no good, I thought that you would
not think of me anymore. I do not forget you before Our Lord. I
complain to Him lovingly about your coming from so far away to
visit me every day between the two elevations of holy Mass.
I then find you present to my spirit, and after we have told our
divine Master what you want, you gently disappear again, saying
as you did in your cherished letter: do not be angry with me".
But how can i be angry with you, beloved Sister? You know so well
how to win hearts that, if I was not sure it was to make them
wholly God's, I would certainly beg Him to defend me against
you. But there is nothing to fear in this union of our hearts,
for the Lord is the author of it.
May He ever be glorified by it!
I have commended to his mercy this dear Sister Your Charity mentions.
Do not worry about her. I hope that, if you pray over her to our
Sovereign Master, He will not allow this plant to take root in His
garden, that is, in the religious life, unless His Heavenly Father
has planted it there. It is true that the responsibility of leading
souls to God is an inexpressibly fearful and important one.
But
why are you afraid, since He who has given it to you has all power
to make you act according to His holy will? There is never any
resistance in us against it, no matter in what way He wishes
to dispose of us. We must give all in order to possess all. Divine
Love admits of no alloy. Come to my aid, then, in this regard.
Since Your Charity honors me with her friendship, let her show
this friendship by procuring for me the love of my God through
her holy prayers. For this end, let us visit each other often,
dear Sister, in the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ. When you do
not find me there, importune Him until His mercy brings me there.
There we will make our little spiritual visits without fear, and
express most tenderly our true love for this adorable Heart, in
which I am respectfully and wholly yours.
My dear Sister Marie Aimee and Sister de Lyonne send you their
most cordial respects and sincere affection.-O, I was mistaken!
It is to your most honored Mother (Mother de Saumaise) that they
send them.
Good-bye, beloved Sister. I would think that I had said nothing
if the cross of Our Lord had found no place in our conversation.
O, how to cherish and love it for the love of Him who has so
loved it for love of you as to wish to die in its arms. Let us
not try to do anything any more except love and suffer in this love.
After we had learned to do this perfectly, we shall know and do
all that God wants us.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Moulins
(8) 1680
Most Honored Mother,
I can no longer refuse my heart the sweet satisfaction it
finds in conversing with Your Charity. You assure me that
Our Lord wants that. Nor do I doubt it, since it induces you
constantly to manifest the same kindness and charity towards
me which you have shown in my regard ever since I had the
honor of becoming your unworthy daughter. I want to satisfy
the desire of your maternal heart to have news of me.
Never has God shown His love and mercy towards me
more, and never have I been more ungrateful, unfaithful and
wicked. I am just a combination of pride and malice and
constantly oppose His goodness. I resist His will, show coldness
in return for His love. That coldness makes me so tepid in
His holy service that I am simply horrified when I consider
the life I lead, a life altogether sensual and sinful.
Ah, dear
Mother, how much I need your prayers, in order that His
goodness may not grow weary for me to repent, but
still more that He may not deprive me of loving Him for
all eternity because I did not love Him during life! This is
a severe punishment I fear. Everything else makes no
impression on me. How good God is, though, dear Mother, for
not depriving me of the precious treasure of His cross,
although I lead a life so offensive to Him.
Although the cross
is my just lot as a great sinner, still it is the cross which
makes bearable the length of my exile, in which there can
be no pleasure for me but to love God and suffer for this
love. What, alas, would I do if the cross were taken from
me, since it is that which makes me hope in His mercy! That
is my whole treasure in the adorable Heart of Jesus Christ.
In it consists all my pleasure, all my delight, all my joy.
But if you only knew what poor use I make of it, especially
of those precious humiliations and embarrassments, and of the
heartaches and anguish of almost every kind that go with
them. Sometimes my heart seems to be in agony and reduced
to the last extremities, and that notwithstanding the pleasure
it takes in being submerged in this ocean of bitterness, which
I consider to be the most tender proof of the love of my
Divine Spouse.
That is why I feel myself so very unworthy
of these inestimable favors. Pray that I may profit by them
in the future, that I may put no obstacle in the way of the
Divine good pleasure. I need strength from God to bear with
myself.
Write a few words to this unworthy daughter of yours,
dear Mother, when God inspires you to. I do not know what
to say to those I love. All I can do is speak to them of the
cross of Jesus Christ.
And when anyone asks me what favors
Our Lord grants me, an unworthy sinner, I can speak only
of the happiness of suffering with Jesus Christ. I know of
nothing more precious than to suffer for His love, in which
I am wholly yours.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Moulins
(9) July 10, 1680
I assure you, most honored Mother,
that I am glad to
comply with our beloved Mother's order and give you news on
the state of my health. I must tell you, then, that Our Lord,
on the Feast of Corpus Christi (June 20, 1680), did me the
favor of removing all of a sudden the great weakness to
which I had been reduced. For after Holy Communion I found
myself as strong and healthy as I had been before I had taken
to my bed a month earlier. Since then I have had the happiness
of following the exercises of the community.
I wanted to tell you this dear Mother, to induce you to
make reparation to Our Lord for my ingratitude, which is
greater than ever. His dealings are so full of love and
tenderness with so unworthy a sinner who has offended Him so
much that I must admit He would but be treating me justly
were He to abandon me to the full rigor of His Divine
Justice.
But He wants to leave me here for yet sometime in
order that our Sisters may exercise their Charity in my
regard, and to give me the opportunity of bewailing my sins
and beginning a new to suffer-if indeed one may speak of
the happiness of sharing in the cross of Our Savior as suffering.
Ah! how precious to me is the state of infirmity and humiliation!
I think there is nothing more useful or nor necessary for me.
This is the one thing that sweetens the tedium of
of a life shadowed by the haunting desire to depart from it.
Yet I am truly ready to put up with it as long as my Savior
wants it to last. I wish only to fulfill in all things His
holy will, which is no less lovable in affliction than in
consolation.
It will be a great relief to me, dear Mother, if Your Charity
reassures me that she is going to keep the promise she made
of burning my letters so that nothing may be seen or known
of them here. For I am eagar to remain buried in contempt
and oblivion as well after my death as during my life.
I have such great confidence in your friendship that I cannot
believe you would refuse me this favor any more than
you would doubt our union in the Sacred Heart of our adorable
Jesus. I beg Him to continue granting us this favor in
eternity. If I ever forgot you before His Divine Goodness, I
would have to forget what is dearest to me.
I tell you as my
good Mother that just now I have very great need of your
prayers in order to gain strength to continue on to the end
in the perfect fulfillment of the designs God has on me. In
the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary I am devotedly yours.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Moulins
(10) November, 1680
You are ever the dear mother of my heart,
which cherishes
you in the Heart of Our Loving Savior with all the love of
which it is capable. I flatter myself that you do not doubt
this, since I keep nothing secret from you. I take special
pleasure in recounting to you the mercies of Our Sovereign
towards the most ungrateful of all His creatures.
His
generousity to me is so great that it is impossible for me
to find words to describe it to Your Charity. But this I will
say: He deals with me like a father enraptured with His little
child. During my retreat especialy He seems to take pleasure
in oveewhelming me with His sweet consolations. But I cannot
make up my mind to relish them in this life, finding my
happiness only in the pleasure He takes in doing good to us.
Crosses, contempt, suffering, afflictions: these are the true
treasures of the lovers of Jesus Christ crucified. Pray, dear
Mother, that He may not leave me for a moment without these in the
accomplishment of His holy will which is so manifest
in the sufferings of Reverend Father de la Colombiere. For
when I was once recommended him to God's goodness, I heard
these words "The servant is not greater than his Master.
There
is nothing more profitable than conformity with his dear Master.
Although according to the human way of thinking his health
would be more for the glory of God, his sufferings have given
God incomparably more glory. For there is a time for everything:
a time for suffering and a time for action, a time for sowing
and a time for watering and cultivating." This is what he is
doing at present.
For the Lord is pleased to give an inestimable
value to his sufferings because they are so closely joined
with His own. Later on He will let their merits fall as a heavenly
dew upon this harvest which he has sown in so many places,
and make it grow and bring forth fruit in His holy love.
Let us obey, then, dear Mother, the orders of our Sovereign,
and admit that, although what He does seems to us harsh and
severe, He is good and just in all He does and always merits
our praise and love.
If you only knew how much He is urging me to love Him with
a love of conformity to His suffering life! He wants me
to make sacrifices continually.
He Himself furnishes me
with occations for making them in the employment He has
given me. I note with pleasure that each act is a new sacrifice
for me because of the repugnance He gives me the grace
of feeling in this employment. That repugnance gives such
satisfaction to this Spirit, Master of mine, that He often
compels me to say, in spite of my lower nature, that it is good
to go on, by the strength of His love, contrary to our own
inclinations, without any pleasure or satisfaction except
that of not having any.
For it must suffice for us that Our
Lord is satisfied in any manner that pleases Him.
I would find it a far greater joy to speak to you than
write to you; it seems to me I would express the sentiments
of my heart better orally. I am getting much consolation
from reading your letters and, although I am very glad
no one thinks of me any more, I believe Our Lord wants
you to think of me and wishes me never to forget you.
For the love of the Sacred Heart, look sometimes at the little
note you are keeping, for He takes pleasure in that.
How much obliged I should be, good Mother, were you
to do me the favor of burning everything you have received
from me! Let us do all we can to procure honor and love for
the Sacred Heart of Our Spouse, Who makes me entirely yours
forever in His holy love.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Moulins
(11) February 16, 1681
Dear Mother,
After wishing you, at the beginning of this new year, the
fullness of pure divine love which could by its ardor
transform us into itself, I must tell you it is against my will
that I have been deprived so long of the consolation Our Lord
gives me in writing to you, although it still causes me the
same difficulty. My headaches do not permit me to write much.
I still flatter myself that Your Charity will always continue
to show me the same kindness and affection. It seems to me
that, even if I could, I should not be able to forget my
beloved Mother before Our Lord.
He continues to show me His mercy by favoring me with His cross.
That, indeed, is the lot of chosen souls in this life, but I
have good reason to fear that, rejected because of the
poor use I make of it, I accept it more as a sinner might
do. Yet I know it is the greatest good we can wish for, this being
conformed to Jesus in His suffering. We ought to wish to live
only to have the happiness of suffering through love, but never
in the way we choose for ourselves.
Ah, dear Mother, how much I need the help of your prayers
to get me to abandon myself entirely to His holy
will in all that He wants to do with me! For me, life is a
martyrdom, although I can assure you at the present I have
everything that can make it sweet to me, namely, staying
in my dear cell. There I find such delight that I have
good reason to fear Our Lord is reserving only punishment
for me in eternity, where all I am afraid of is to be deprived
of loving Him. I beg this of Him with all my heart.
For you
I ask that you may acquit yourself well of the charge He has
committed to you.
Gladly would I grant what you ask of me in your last letter.
But, alas, what can you expect of a wicked and miserable
sinner like myself? You would be horrified, yet pity me, too,
as if you knew me as I really am, and you would say that God is
truly outdoing Himself in His mercy to me. I beg you beloved Mother,
to thank Him and to ask Him to forgive my infidelities.
I trust that His goodness will not refuse you what you wish
for His glory, provided only that you seek it with confidence
and expect everything from Him alone.
I must tell you for your consolation, because I think you
love me, that God has given me a true Mother, full of
goodness and charity towards me (Mother Greyfie). If I
had time, it would give me great satisfaction to tell
you my thoughts on this matter and on the graces God is
giving me by plunging me into the humiliations so dear to
my soul.
I would consider it a severe punishment to be
deprived of them or to be without suffering for a moment,
for it seems to me that every hour passed without suffering
is lost as far as I am concerned. I can assure you that
I want to go on living only that I may have the happiness
of suffering.That, and to converse with those I love, is the
only thing that can give joy to my heart and soul. I have
no other news.
Any other topic of conversation is painful
to me and any other grace cannot be compared with that of
carrying the cross lovingly with Jesus Christ. Let me know
for my consolation whether His goodness is favoring you with
this blessing at present.
But do not think that because I
speak of suffering this way I am suffering very much.
Alas it seems to me that I have not yet suffered anything,
and consequently have done nothing for my God. In His
holy love I am and shall always be respectfully yours.
To Sister Marie-Bernarde Payelle, at Charolles
(12) From our monastery in Paray. July 22, 1681
Most Honored And Beloved Sister,
Only love can produce in us the desire to be conformed with Our
Sovereign Master. We cannot therefore, attain this conformity
except by loving Him above all things and despising everything
else. His true and perfect lover Mary Magdalene, did that. I ask
her to be so good as to inflame our hearts with the same fire
that consumed hers at the Feet of her Savior so that, no matter
in what circumstances it may please Him to put us, He may not find
in us any longer any obstacle to the accomplishment of His most
adorable will.
For affliction or consolation, health or sickness,
are all one to a heart that loves Him. As long as Our Lord is
satisfied, that must suffice for us. We only want to please Him.
You know far better than I do, dear friend, that since He can find
nothing great outside of Himself, He takes pleasure in stooping
to our lowliness in order to glorify Himself in our infirmities.
I must confess that when I pray to God for Your Charity, as I
usually do at Holy Mass, I cannot bring mysekf to ask that
you be freed from your cross, because it seems to me that would
be asking that you be deprived of the greatest good you can
have in this life-conformity with Jesus Christ in His suffering.
Neither can I ask that He free you from the repugnance you feel
for your sickness, because I believe it is just this which
constitutes our merit. The less there is of self in it the
more there is of God. I must tell you frankly as my intimate
friend the thought that occurs to me when I offer you to His
adorable Heart-blind submission no matter in what circumstances
He places you, blind submission in everything it may please
Him to do with you. If I am not mistaken, that sums up His whole
will in your regard.
I feel the greates confusion in speaking to Your Charity
in this way. I would be able to speak thus only to a soul
His goodness has made dear to me as yours, and which I am
more interested than you think. Pray in turn for me when in
the presence of Our good Master. He knows I have the greatest
need of your holy prayers, for I am completely devoid of
all good.
I do not at all mind our dear Sister Marie Therese showing
you our letters. That pleases me. I am happy also that
she shows Your Charity a special respect and gratitude for
the great kindness you have always shown her. I shall be
indebted to you if you continue to do so.
As to the desire you express of obtaining from Our Lord true
submission and abandonment to the ways of divine providence
I promise, if our beloved Mother agrees, to say the litany
of the Blessed Sacrament for a month for that intention, and
I shall begin on the first of August by offering Holy Communion,
I beg you though, to cooperate. We shall obtain nothing unless
you have confidence. Believe me, loving friend, that in this
project and in every other, it will be a pleasure to me
to be able to prove how truly I love you in the Sacred Heart
of our adorable Jesus. May He, by His holy love, make us one
with Himself in time and eternity.
Beloved Sister
I am doubly indebted to you for the esteem and affection
you tell me you have for our most beloved Mother even more
than if you showed it to myself. I dare say that my silence
in regard may express better what I feel than my words could.
She greets you with sincere affection. I beg you to be so
good as to extend to your most honored Mother my most
affectionate and respectful greetings, and to tell her
that I love her with a true and sincere affection.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Moulins
(13) 1682
Dearest Mother,
It would give me great satisfaction to be able to tell you
my miseries, for they would make you understand better Our
Sovereign Master's great mercies to me. One of the most
precious and useful of these is my illness. Yes, I assure
you the cross of infirmity and humiliation is so necessary
for me that my Sovereign told me that without it, I should not
have been able to avoid another which, I think would have
been very dangerous.
I need not think about myself anymore,
nor about what it may please my Savior to do concerning me
or in me. He said He would never fail to take care of me
except when I insisted on meddling in my own affairs. I have
often found this out through my infidelity which has brought
about the upsetting of my plans. All I wish to do now is
what He has so often told me. "Let Me act", He said.
Moreover, He has turned loose in me three persecutors. They
torment me continually. The first one calls up the other
two. That first one is such a great desire to love Him
that it seems everything I see ought to be changed into flames
of pure love so that He may be loved in the Blessed Sacrament.
It is a martyrdom to me to think He is so little loved there,
and that there are so many hearts that reject His pure love,
forget it, and spurn it. If only I myself at least would
love Him my heart would be consoled with its sorrow. But I
am the most ungrateful and faithless of creatures and lead a
life wholly unmortified and filled with self love.
I feel myself continually urged to suffer, but with what
terrible repugnance on the part of my low nature! This
makes my crosses so heavy that I would be crushed many a
time if the Heart of my adorable Jesus did not sustain me
and assist me in all my needs. And all the while in the midst
of my constant sufferings my heart continues to thirst after
suffering. My soul suffers great agony at not yet being able
to be separated from the body. I can think of no greater sacrifice
than that of having to continue to live. Yet I would go on
living from now until Judgment Day if God wanted me to,
although the thought of being separated so long from my Lord
would be harder for me to bear than a thousands deaths.
Everything
conspires to afflict and torment me because I cannot give
my whole affection to my Divine Love, who favors me continually
with His Holy Presence and Himself instructs me to describe
it to you as follows.
Suppose that a powerful monarch, feeling urged to exercise
his charity, should cast his eyes about over his subjects
in order to select the poorest, most miserable and utterly
destitute among them. Then, having found her, with overflowing
liberality he poured out upon her his riches, of which the
greatest would be that this great monarch would want so to
humble himself as to walk constantly at the side of this poor
outcast, carrying a torch and all gleaming in his royal purple.
And, after allowing himself to be seen, he hid this light in
the darkness of night, so as to give this poor outcast courage
to approach him, and to listen to and speak to him with
confidence, to receive his embraces and to return them on her part.
He always looked out for her needs and took care of everything
that concerned her. But if, after all that, this person should
come to withdraw herself from her benefactor and to be unfaithful
to him, and if, to punish her, he did nothing else than let
the light he had hidden shine forth, so that she could see what
he is and what she is, he all resplendent with beauty, she
all covered with dirt, wounds and all sorts of filth...and
if she saw at the same time the enormity of her malice and
ingratitude, in contrast with the goodness of this Sovereign..
I do not know whether I put it clearly enough to make you see
what I mean.
This is something like the way in which my Sovereign has dealt
with His unworthy slave. Indeed, this Divine Presence makes
diverse impressions on me. Sometimes He raises me to the
height of all bliss from which I draw inexpressible delight.
Then all I can exclaim is: 'My Life, my Love, and my All!
You are mine and I am all Yours!' At other times He plunges
me into the depths of my own nothingness where I suffer
inexplicable confusion at seeing this abyss of every misery
close to the abyss of all perfection. At still other times
He so enters into me that He seems to leave me with no other
being or life than Himself. He does this in so painful a manner
that I have to repeat incessantly: 'I want to suffer everything
without complaint, since my pure love prevents me from being
afraid of anything.'
But I would weary you if I recounted all these things in
detail, for God is an unfathomable abyss of every good. All
my glory ought to consist, as He has taught me, in considering
myself but a play thing to give pleasure to His adorable
Heart, which is my whole treasure. I must confess that I have
nothing but my Savior Jesus Christ. He often says to me: 'What
would you do without Me? You would certainly be very poor!'
As for the other graces and gifts I receive from His bounty,
I must confess that they are very great. But the Giver is more
Precious than all His gifts. My heart cannot love or be
attached to anything but Him alone. All else is nothing and
often serves only to contaminate pure love, and to separate
the soul from its Well-Beloved, Who wants to be loved soley and
without self interest. I beg you to thank the Lord for His great
mercies to me.
To Mother Louise- Henriette de Soudeilles, at Moulins
(14) From our monastery in Paray, July 1, 1682
If, most honored Mother,
I really was before God what your
goodness makes you believe, I would be glad to prove to you
the great affection and esteem I have for Your Charity, for
I cherish you quite especially. But all that I am good for is
to stop the flow of God's mercy. Be deceived no longer. For to
tell you the truth briefly, I am a composite of every misery,
powerless to do any good and most unworthy of the grace of God.
Yet I hope that in His Goodness He will not refuse us the grace
necessary to fulfill our obligations. Your's are now very great
indeed, and your burden can be lightened only by Him Who has
promised to make His burden light. It goes without saying that
that becomes the case especially when He Himself imposes the
burden on us. Then He Himself sustains the one who carries it,
He Himself is our strength and our support. Like an indulgent
father, He often excuses our weaknesses. We need fear nothing
in His Sacred Arms provided that we are diffident of ourselves
and look to Him for everything. We ought to fear whatever
comes from human nature. We must not trust it.
I am glad our Divine Master makes you see the circumstances
that makes the burdens of your office even heavier. He wants
them to be an occation for having recourse to His Goodness
more frequently. He will turn all things to His Glory and
your good if only you carry out His plans, as I think you
do. This is all the more true since your work, as Your Charity
knows, imposes a heavier obligation on you. It seems to me that
the title 'superior' requires that the one who bears it be
a living image of Jesus Christ, and must represent Him in
everything.
When He raises anyone to this dignity, He wants
of her complete surrender of all self-interest. We must leave
ourselves to His care, think only of doing His work well,
look only to His greater glory in everything, love only through
love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ, and act only in
His Spirit, letting Him live, reign and act in so far as
we can. For it seems to me there is nothing so much to be
feared, or more difficult, than to render an account for
others.
I do not know dear Mother, why your humility offers my pride
this opportunity of pushing itself to the fore. Alas, of what
service can I be to you? Or my letters either, in which I
say say through ignorance or thoughtlessness whatever comes
into my mind without being able to do otherwise. The Lord knows
how much I love you, and that I desire Him to fill your heart
with an abundance of His grace and pure love.
I think He
will be very generous in granting you these after you have,
by following the lights He gives, sweetened the bitterness
which His adorable Heart has suffered. He will show you
clearly what He wants. Do in peace what He inspires you to do.
Pardon my too great liberty with you, beloved Mother. It
is the reason why I never want to write. Help me by your holy
prayers. I can assure you that I shall never forget you before
Him, Whom I beg to be good enough to unite our hearts forever
in His own most loving Heart.
To Mother Louise-Henriette de Soudeilles at Moulins,
From our monastery
in Paray, July 7, 1682 (15)
I cannot most honored Mother,
get over the confusion caused by the
honor you have done me, though I so little deserve it. One would, indeed,
have to be as good and humble as Your Charity is to grant me the favor
of your friendship. I wish I were able to repay you as you deserve. But
at least I shall repay you as much as Our Lord Jesus Christ enables me
to, since such a friendship tends only to unite us with His adorable
Heart.
I often recommend you to Him in order that He Himself may be your
strength and support and to help you to bare up bravely under the
responsibilities of your office. For this intention, I shall make a novena
for you, with the permission of superiors, saying each day the Litany
of the Blessed Sacrament. But you must join your prayers with mine, for
mine are quite powerless because of the little love I have for God. Ask
of Him for me, dearest Mother that He may teach me to love Him by
forgetting myself. He has given me an ardent desire for this, but I do not
respond.
You have good reason to fear when you have to decide on the vocation of
girls. That is indeed so difficult a task that, unless Our Lord Himself
does it, there is great danger of being deceived. We must let Him act
in the souls of those who present themselves, contributing on our part
only what he shows us to be necessary for His glory. We must not be
disturbed by any difficulties.
For when there is question of a true call
from God, He knows how to make them overcome all difficulties. It is
necessary to pray fervently for that. And it seems to me that when we have
only God, in view and seek only His glory, we need fear nothing,
because He regards only the good disposition of a heart that loves Him. I
hope that yours, which I cherish very much in His adorable Heart, may be
constantly consumed in the flames of this love which makes me
completely and respectfully, most honored Mother: your very humble and obedient
daughter and servant in Our Lord.
I had the pleasure of speaking for a very short time with Your dear
Sister. She brought all your greetings and good wishes. I do not know how
to express my gratitude to you, beloved Mother, for these as well as
for the part you played in giving me the joy of seeing our most honored
Sister and former superior (Mother de Saumaise).
But, alas, what is
there to the joys of this life? There is nothing solid in them, and they
pass away like a dream. I cannot understand how a heart that seeks its
God and wants to love Him can relish any pleasure outside of Him. There
must be no more of this thing called self. I can see no other happiness
in this life than to remain always hidden away in ones own nothingness,
suffering and loving in silence, embracing our crosses and praising and
thanking Him Who sends them.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(16) August 25 1682.
It gives me real pleasure, dear Mother,
to take advantage of this
occasion to reassure you of the genuine affection and respect of my heart,
which is more than ever yours in the Heart of Jesus Christ. He wishes
Your Charity to continue to show towards me all her love and maternal
kindness. I can assure you that I do not forget you in His Holy Presence,
where I make a thousand of petitions of blessings for you in the sweet
retirement which I think you are now enjoying, and where at your
leisure in the company and endearments of Our Divine Spouse. Oh, how good it
is to love Him purely for the love of Himself!
I assure you dear
Mother, that my poor heart burns incessantly this desire without my having
yet succeeded in attaining its fulfillment. That is what makes life so
bitter for me. Without this love it is but a heart death. Jesus Christ
is the true friend of our hearts, and they are made for Him alone. They
cannot find rest, joy or satisfaction except in Him. Let us love Him
then, with all our might and show it by suffering everything in silence
for His love. This love it is that sweetens all the bitterness of life
and gives us great strength in the struggle we have to keep up
continually against our enemies, and of these, we ourselves are the greatest.
Ah, how fortunate those souls who have so completely forgotten
themselves that all their thoughts, love and attention are centered on this
unique Friend of our hearts! Ask of Jesus Christ this grace for me. I have
much confidence in your holy prayers and have very great need of them
in the state of suffering in which His goodness continually keeps me.
But I do not want to be freed from them, because the cross is the
throne of the true lovers of Jesus Christ. I am not one of these, it is
true. These sufferings are for my sins. But that does not matter. As long
as we suffer with Jesus Christ, for love of Him and according to His
designs that is sufficient.
You exercise the greatest influence over my wretched self. That is why
I am going to tell you quite plainly what God wants from this soul you
mention. He wants from her greater perfection than from most people.
Those who direct her need have no fear of being an obstacle to Gods
design on her, but simply pray to Him before they gave her advice.
Then she
must follow that advice quite simply and forget about her own ideas.
These she often confuses with the inspirations of grace. She must submit
to the judgement of those who direct her. False inspirations do much
harm, greatly retard progress toward perfection, and are obstacles to
the designs of God, Who demands complete resignation and perfect
submission from this soul. I am wholly yours.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(17) 1682
I have this complaint to make,
by loving me to much
you do not love me well. You say you are vexed at
one of the most precious gifts I have received from
Our Good God's liberality. He has designed to give
me a small share in His Crown of Thorns. It is all
the more precious in that it is continual and
frequently prevents me from lying down. So I pass
the night most delightfully in the company of my
Jesus, suffering through love. I tell you this so
that Your Charity may share in my happiness and help
me to thank Our Lord for ever continuing to show His
mercy and generosity towards me.
To Mother Louise-Henriette de Soudelles, at Moulins.
(18) October 1682
I did not want to go into retreat without first
answering your kind letter and begging at the same
time, most honored Mother,
the help of your holy
prayers. I have the greatest need of them, I assure
you. Would that Our Lord made you understand that,
or at least what Your Charity considers me to be, which
is anything but the reality.
I wish I could tell you how truly I love and esteem
you in the Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ. I
beg Him to shower His Blessings on your government
more and more, so that it may be in His Spirit and
according to His designs. I know that He does not
fail to enlighten you because He wants you to go
straight to Him. If you want to win Him over so that
He will take special care of you, abandon yourself
completely to His adorable Heart.
Put off all self
interest and work most earnestly and lovingly at the
task He has given you to do. This is what I beg of Him
with all my heart, beloved Mother. And I ask Him too,
that He may give us His pure and Holy Love. May it
unite us in time and eternity!
Especially, beloved Mother, never doubt the sincerity
of my affection nor the share you have in my unworthy
prayers.
To Mother Louise-Henriette de Soudeilles at Moulins.
(19) November, 1682
May the peace of the adorable Heart of Jesus be ever
ours in all its fullness, most honored Mother,
so that
nothing can disturb the tranquility of our hearts. I
am, then, writing to answer the letter with which
Your Charity honored me. I gather from it that the one
I gave myself the honor of writing you cause you worry.
Please, I beg in the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ,
remain at peace all this. Do not take any stock in
what I write you; for I put down with neither prudence
nor reflection whatever comes into my mind. So do not
worry about it any more, beloved Mother, and do not
ask any further clarification of me. Suffice it to say
that the Lord is pleased with the good will of our
hearts.
I trust that His Heart will never refuse you
the graces necessary for the perfect fulfillment of
all the obligations He imposes on you. This beloved
Mother is what I ask of Him for Your Charity. When
I am in His Divine Presence, I beg countless blessings
for you. You are very dear to me there, and your
interests are uppermost in my poor heart when I am
with Him.
I shall ever have for Your Charity all
the esteem and respect of which a sincere affection
is capable. Rest assured of this, beloved Mother, and
do not forget my miseries in the presence of Our Lord.
I am eager that our hearts remain united in His through
His Divine Love in time and eternity. It is this same
love which makes me wholly and respectfully yours.
To Mother Louise de Soundeilles at Moulins
(20) From our monastery in Paray, January 6, 1683
Most Beloved And Honored Mother,
Both my sense of duty and the respectful attention
Our Lord gives me for Your Charity, prompt me
not to let any more of this new year go by without
expressing to you my wish that it be filled with
all the graces and blessings necessary for the perfect
fulfillment of the most holy will of God in everything
He asks of Your Charity.
For it seems to me that the
true happiness of a soul consists of conformity with
this most adorable will. It is in this our hearts finds
its peace, our soul its joy and repose. He who clings
to God is made of one spirit with God. This, I believe,
is the true way of doing our own will. God in His loving
goodness is pleased to make happy the soul in which
He encounters no resistance.
On the contrary, things
never go right with those who resist Him. He closes
His ears to their requests, He looks on them without
compassion, His Sacred Heart is irresponsive to their needs.
I do not know why I am telling you all this,
except perhaps because the Lord wants us to find all
our pleasure in Him alone, so that He may give us all
our hearts desires.
Alas dear Mother, what confusion I feel at talking to
Your Charity in this way! But it all comes from a
heart that wants to show its esteem for you and that
wants to make some return for so many loving kindnesses.
These cause me great confusion. But what causes me
the greatest confusion of all is that Your Charity
says she gets consolation from my letters.
It is
really the Lord that gives you that, for I can assure
Your Charity that very often I would not dare to write
did I not hope that from my letters people would
come to know me for the wretched and wicked creature
sinner that I am. But may the Lord's Will, and not
mine, be done! In His Holy Love, most honored Mother
I am respectfully yours.
To Mother Louise Henriette de Soudelles
From Paray, March 28 1683 (21)
Truly, most honored Mother,
you cover me with confusion
by doing me such honor: me, a wretched and miserable
sinner. I left the world only to bury myself in
eternal oblivion, to do penance for my so many sins
and for the criminal life I have led. The fact that
you do not know this is no reason why I should be
justified or exempt from punishment.
The most rigorous
punishment Divine Justice is making me feel just
now is that so many saintly souls, animated by holy
charity imagine that I really am what I ought to be.
But the truth is rather that I am composite of every
misery, defect, and imperfection, and merit all contempt.
Because I honor and esteem you immeasurably, I am
sorry that one of your merit should be deceived and
among the number of those who know me so little. Help
me dear Mother, by your holy prayers, to become
truly converted, and Your Charity shall not be the
last either in my remembrance or in my prayers. Rest
assured of this, for you are very dear to me in the
Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(22) April 1683.
Dearest Mother,
May Jesus Christ risen from the dead always remain
triumphant in our hearts! My heart finds consolation
in binding itself to pay its debt to you. I must
tell you under obedience that the Lord continues to
shower His mercies on my infidelities only by an
excess of His Love. May everything contribute to His
greater glory!
On the feast of St Thomas (December 21, 1682) our
most honored Mother ordered me in virtue of holy
obedience to ask Our Lord to restore my health. It
was getting so much worse that I thought I could
hardly live much longer as I was.
He who willed to die through obedience gave me to
understand how dear it is to Him. I was then in bed
in the infirmary but got up to go to the choir to
make my request of Him, though my sins rendered me
unworthy of obtaining it. But He made me see that
obedience could do anything. Since that time I have
always been in such perfect health that it seems
nothing can change it.
My cross now became an interior
one so heavy that I could not have carried it for very
long if the Hand, that sent it had not held me up. I
thought His sanctity of Justice was showing me what
hell is like, or rather Purgatory, since I did not
loose the desire of loving God. I felt such great
agony at having to go the round of daily exercises,
that I thought I would have to be dragged to them
with ropes.
I thought I no longer had mind or will or
imagination or memory. Everything was gone. I had
no ambition at all. All these afflictions caused
me such keen suffering that I thought they had sunk
into the very marrow of my bones. Everything in me
suffered. Yet I felt perfectly resigned to the Holy
Will of God, Whose ways I adore.
I must tell you that this indisposition of mine was
shown me to be but a tiny reflection and participation
in the suffering of Our Lord in the Garden of Olives.
How great my dear Mother, are the mercies He has shown
so great a sinner! Praise the Lord for not having
plunged me into the very depths of hell for my countless
sins.
While I was making the prayer you know I make on the
night between Thursday and Friday, I was shown a holy
soul from Purgatory for whom I had been favored with
these sufferings.
Our Mother gave me to the souls in Purgatory Holy
Thursday night, allowing me to spend it before the
Blessed Sacrament. Part of that time I was as though
surrounded by these poor suffering souls with whom
I have contracted a close friendship. Our Lord told me
that He was giving me to them this year so that I might
do for them all the good I could. They are often with
me. I call them simply my suffering friends.
There
is one of them especially that causes me much suffering,
although I cannot bring her as much relief as I would
wish. I am not allowed to give her name but I do ask
you to help her. She will not be ungrateful. You knew
her at least by name but I do ask you to help her by
performing for her nine acts each day from now to the
feast of the Ascension, four of charity and five of
humility.
Offer the four acts of charity in honor
of the ardent charity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and
the five acts of humility in reparation for the
humiliations He suffered in His Passion. How grateful
I shall be to you if you get some other members of
your community to help her in this same way.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
May 2, 1683 (23)
My soul is filled with such great consolation, dear
Mother,
that I can hardly stand it. Let me pour some
of it into your heart so that mine, which hardly
ever leaves the Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ, may
be relieved. This morning, Good Shepherd Sunday (May
2nd, 1683), when I awoke, two of my good friends
suffering in Purgatory came to bid me goodbye.
This
was to be the day on which the Sovereign Shepherd
would receive them into His eternal fold and,
accompanied by more than a million others, they were
taken up midst songs of inexpressible joy.
One of
them is good Mother Monthoux (died February 5, 1683),
the other my dear Sister Jeanne Catherine Gacon
(died January 18th, 1683) who repeated to me over and
over again these words: "Love triumphs, love enjoys,
love rejoices in her God." The other said "How happy
are the dead who die in the Lord, and religious who
live and die in the exact observance of their rule!"
They want me to tell you for them death can indeed
separate friends but not destroy their union. This
message is from good Mother Monthoux. Sister Jeanne
Catherine will be as good a daughter to you in Heaven
as you have been a good Mother to her on earth.
If only you knew how my soul was transported with
joy! While I was still speaking to them I saw them
gradually lost and as it were swallowed up in glory.
They wish you to say in thanksgiving to the Blessed
Trinity, A Te Deum, a Laudate, and a Gloria Patri
five times. As I was begging them not to forget
us they said to me these parting words: "Ingratitude
has never yet entered Heaven."
If you only knew the suffering that other one has
caused me (See the proceeding letter). It is simply in-
expressible. Give me a few drops of water with which
to refresh her, for I am in the flames with her.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(24) October or November 1683
Dearest Mother,
I think I ought to rejoice with you at your good fortune
in having in Heaven so powerful an advocate in the person of the
most honored Mother Boulier (superior at Dijon, died September
7, 1683) rather than share the grief you feel at the loss of
so holy a friend, I must say that, although I never had the pleasure
of meeting her, I loved and esteemed her beyond words. I cannot
bring myself to grieve over loosing her because I feel sure she
is enjoying her sovereign Good. He makes her all powerful to show
us the marks of true friendship.
The friendship our Lord gives me for Your Charity makes me find
consolation in pouring out my heart to you, notwithstanding the
repugnance you know I feel in speaking of myself. I tell you
sincerely that my life and actions are so little in conformity
with the graces God gives me that I shudder when I think of them, and
still more when I write of them, so that I am hardly able to bring
myself to do so.
It seems to me that everything I say is an
illusion. I think I ought to bury everything in oblivion in so
far as I can without failing in that holy simplicity and sincerity
a soul should have that wants to belong wholly to God, to be
attached to Him and live for Him alone.
He is more precious than all His gifts. But of these gifts that of
His pure love surpasses all others. It alone should take possession of
us, make us work and make us suffer. For it never lets a heart rest.
Let us surrender ourself to its ardor, so that we may love Him
with our whole being. Everything must be subservient to that,
everything bend and yield before His Holy Love.
This is the greatest
desire He gave me during the retreat in the course of which His
Goodness often made me say to Him: "If Your consolation in pouring
out my heart to you, notwithstanding the repugnance you know
I feel in speaking of myself. I tell you sincerely that my life
and actions are so little in conformity with the graces God gives me
that I shudder when I think of them, and still more when I write
of them, so that I am hardly able to bring myself to do so.
It seems to
me that everything I say is an illusion. I think I ought to bury
everything in oblivion in so far as I can without failing in that
holy simplicity and sincerity a soul should have that wants to
belong wholly to God, to be attached to Him alone.
He is more precious than all His gifts. But of these gifts that
of His pure love surpasses all others. It alone should take
possession of us, make us work and make us suffer. For it
never lets a heart rest. Let us surrender ourselves to its ador, so
that we may Him with our whole being. Everything must be subservient
to that, everything bend and yield before this holy love.
This
is the greatest desire He gave me He gave me during the retreat
in the course of which His goodness often made me say to Him:
"If Your consolations and liberality are so great towards those
poor miserable creatures who merely have a desire to love You,
what will You not do for them who, with a heart completely divested
of all things, love You purely of Yourself!"
I think you belong to this class. I desire to be in it too. By
that love which unites us in His adorable Heart, ask this grace
of Him for me and for all hearts capable of loving Him. I am
not forgetting you in His holy presence. There your interests
are mine.
That is why I am glad the Lord left you in peace (she was
not re-elected superior.) Now you will have more leisure to be
with this Well-Beloved of our souls and rest more sweetly on His
loving breast. I hope you will be consumed with the flames of
His purest love. May we be so firmly united by them as never
to be separated from His divine love. Amen.
To the Elder Miss Chamberland, at Moulons
(25) February 8, 1684
I pray that the Lord Himself will be your strength and bring you to
perfection of His spouses truly crucified.
To arrive at this they
must offer Him their heart and affection without reserve, they must
become His handmaids truly crucified. Would you like to know the full
import of these words, my dear sister? If you did, would you have
enough courage to put them into practice? Can you die continually to
your own inclinations, passions, pleasures, in a word to everything
that belongs to unmortified human nature, so as to make Jesus Christ
live in you by His grace and love? Nor is even all this enough. He
is not content with the crucifixion you inflict upon yourself.
Much more pleasing to Him will be that which others inflict upon
you. Often, too, He is pleased to do this Himself by afflicting you
interiorly and exteriorly. But what difference does it make to
you who seem so eager to belong wholly to God, whatever the way
and whatever the road He leads you? As long as He is satisfied, that
should be enough for us.
Let us not be disturbed by little disagreeable
things we have to suffer, which usually come only because we do
not work hard enough at mortifying ourselves and simplifying our
lives by controlling the repetitions and reflections of self-love.
That makes us want to suffer only what we ourselves desire instead
of profiting by the occasions divine providence furnishes us without
our having sought or foreseen them.
You want me to tell you, my dear sister, what vocation I think
you ought to choose. All I can say is that you should follow the
advice of your spiritual director. You say he does not know you.
I am very surprised at that because we show how efficacious our
good desires really are by our works rather than our words. Words
are suspect unless our actions match them.
Think this over carefully.
Where there is question of taking vows there is question of salvation.
Vows add new merit or demerit to our actions, as you well know.
Honestly, I cannot reconcile with a soul that wants to belong Wholly
to God these two things: being frequently and deliberately wanting
in sincerity and true simplicity, and at the same time not being
aware of it. I do not see how a sincere soul can make use of
subterfuges
and circumvention in word and action.
It must travel along the straight
road of those who always have God in view in everything. Without
more ado they must take for their motto: "Whether alone or with
others, I shall do neither more nor less, since God sees me everywhere
and knows the recesses of my heart."
I cannot believe, my dear sister, that you are guilty of these
defects. They seem to me so horrible and so incompatible with the
Spirit of God and His love that a soul guilty of them can never
make any progress in perfection or acquire any true virtue. Not only
that. By being wanting in simplicity one gives oneself over to the
enemy and makes oneself his plaything. Such a soul he deceives at
will. He dominates us provided we keep his secret for him.
On the
contrary nothing causes him greater confusion or renders him more
powerless than sincere avowal of our faults. We must manifest simply
the good and the bad to those who direct us, neither dissimulating
nor exaggerating. Then they will come to know us well and lead us
to that perfection God demands of us. We must listen with humility
and submission to what they say and carry it out in all simplicity,
no matter it is-where,, of course, there is no offense against God.
This, my dear friend, is what occurs to me just now. I do not know why
God should allow me to talk to you so much about simplicity unless it
is because He so abhors any insincerity.
When I see in a soul all the
other virtues but not sincerity, when even it is favored with all
the other graces Our Lord showers upon His dearest friends, even
then I say, without sincerity all these other virtues and graces seem
to me but a delusion and a snare. But I have written enough. Do
whatever this good Father tells you, for he desires your true
welfare for the glory of God.
To Mother Peronne-Rosalie Greyfie, at Semur
(26) July, 1684
How can it be, most honored Mother,
that, with so
many faults and shortcomings, my soul should so hunger for
suffering and mortification? When I recall that you were
so charitable as to nourish it with this bread, so delicious
though bitter to nature, and that now I am deprived of it, no
doubt because of the poor use I made of it, I am overcome with
grief. Nothing has bound me so closely to Your Charity as
the way you treated me.
I cannot think of it without feeling
deep gratitude to you. You could not have given me truer proofs
of perfect friendship than by humbling and mortifying me.
Although you did this very little considering the reasons I gave
you for doing so, even this little was consolating and sweetened
the bitterness of life, whereas the privation of it makes life
unbearable. I could not live without suffering. Yet ever since I
began to suffer, ever since the Lord blessed me with so greater
good, I have not known how to make good use of it.
There is
nothing that I so earnestly wish to do well and still do so
poorly. That is because I am so much lacking in love for God
through being so much given to loving myself. O my dear Mother,
how it is to live without loving the sovereign Good, without
suffering for this love! Love demands works. Yet only my words
are good, whereas my works are evil. I felt as though I was living
in safety under your direction because you always made me go
contrary to my natural inclinations. That was pleasing to the
Spirit I thought was leading me.
He always wants to see me overwhelmed
with every kind of humiliation, suffering and contradiction.
Other wise He gives me no rest. Nature does not like all that,
but this Spirit which governs mine cannot suffer me to have any
pleasure except that of having none.
Sometimes it seems everything conspires to torment me. Yet
I am not worried. My longing to die is greater than ever. I cannot
bring myself to ask of God the added years of life you told me to,
except on the condition that they all be employed in loving the
Sacred Heart of my Jesus in silence and penance and that I may
never offend Him any more, living day and night before the blessed
Sacrament. This Divine Heart ever present there is all my consolation
here below.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(27) August 10, 1684
My Dear Mother,
God is urging me more than ever to love Him and to suffer, and
to abandon myself completely to Him. Yet, alas, my heart seems
irresponsive to every movement of grace. What I value the most
after Himself is the gift of His Precious Cross. Ah, dear Mother,
if people only knew its worth, they would not so flee from it
and cast it from them but rather so cherish and love it that they
would not be able to find any pleasure except in the Cross, no
rest but on the Cross.
Neither would they have any other desire
but to die in its arms, condemned and despised by all. For that
however, pure love must offer our hearts as a sacrifice and
consume them, as it did the Heart of our good Master. I must confess
that life for me is a continuous martyrdom. I want to die,
yet I have not lived one single moment for God. We must begin in
earnest to live only for Him and in Him.
If you only knew how much merit and glory there is in honoring
this loving Heart of the adorable Jesus and how great will be the
recompense for those who, having consecrated themselves to It,
strive only to honor It! Yes it seems to me that this intention
alone will gain for them more merit, will make their actions more
pleasing before God, than everything else they can do without this
intention.
To Mother Louise Henriette de Soudeilles, at Moulins
(28) From our monastery in Paray, November 3, 1684
Blessed and loved be the Lord forever, most esteemed and beloved
Mother,
Who has not given us the consolation of answering you
sooner. He did not fail, however, to keep you in my poor heart,
and in such away that I rarely forget you in His Holy Presence.
But I must say I am afraid I may be the reason why He does not
make your dear soul feel the effects of His Holy love to the
extent you desire. For alas, my dear Mother, it is but too true
that I am only an obstacle to every good and a compound of
every kind of wretchedness of body and soul. My support in my weakness,
however, is the realization that Our Lord is pleased to show forth
His infinite mercies through His most wretched creatures.
But to return to Your Charity I shall simply tell you, as a true
friend in the adorable Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ, that when
I pray to Him for you this thought occurs to me: if you want
to live wholly for Him and attain that perfection He desires of
you, you must make a complete sacrifice of yourself and all that
you have without reserve, to His Scared Heart. You must no longer will
anything but with the will of this most loving Heart, love nothing
except with His love, act only according to the lights he gives you,
undertake nothing without first asking His council and help.
All
the glory must be His. You must thank Him for the ill as well as
for the good success of your undertakings, always satisfied, never
worrying about anything. As long as this divine Heart is satisfied,
loved and glorified, that must be enough for us. If you wish,
then, to be numbered among His friends, you will offer Him this
sacrifice of yourself some first Friday after Communion. This
Communion you will offer for this intention and then consecrate
yourself entirely to Him, in order that you may render Him and
procure for Him all the love, honor, and glory you can. In all
this you must follow His inspirations.
After that you will not
regard yourself in any other way than as belonging to and dependent
upon the adorable Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ. You must have
recourse to It in all your necessities and take up your abode
there in so far as you can. He will make up for what is wanting
in your imperfect actions and sanctify your good ones if only
you conform yourself in everything to His holy will. He has great
plans in store for you. He will procure much glory for Himself
through you if you will only let Him do so.
Pardon, dear Mother, this proud woman who tells you so freely
what she thinks. Do not be displeased. All this comes from
a heart that has for Your Charity nothing but friendship,
esteem and respect. But I am hurt by your thinking so often
that I forget you. Can one forget what Our Lord has made so
dear? So put away that thought, and always keep a little
place in your memory for the one who is wholly yours in the love
of the Sacred Heart, which unites and transforms ours into
Itself for time and eternity.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(29) 1685
O dear Mother
How wonderful it is to love this Lord so lovable!
Should He give a heart to understand ever so little how good and
lovable He is, could such a heart help but love Him and quit
everything in order to abandon itself to the power of this love?
I assure you I have never before felt such a burning desire to
love Him.
But ineffectually, alas, for this accursed love of self
ruins everything. We must love this only Love of our hearts no matter
what it costs us. All our joy and happiness are bound up in this.
It seems to me that all other thoughts and occupations are only a
waste of time. I have never before better understood the value
of time. It seems to me that each moment is going to be my last.
I have wasted my whole life, I have not yet begun to love my God.
Ah, dear Mother, what suffering this causes me! And to think
that I may have let myself serve this miserable body, my
bitterest enemy, which wages continual war against me! If only
I could tell you of my infidelities and ingratitude...
(a sentence is missing). This loving Heart, I assure you, is
at present my whole occupation, not only during prayer but always.
I find in It a paradise of peace which makes me indifferent to
everything else. Everything else seems contemptible in comparison.
It would give me the greatest pleasure to have a heart to heart
talk with you. But that is not to be any longer in this life
of privation. We must not have any pleasure except that of not
having any for the love of Him Who, during the whole course
of His mortal life, willed to be deprived of it for love of us.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon or
To Mother Greyfie, at Semur
(30) April 20, 1685
Dearest Mother,
During this holy time of Our divine Master's loving visits
(Eastertide) I pray His sacred Heart to consume ours in the
flames of His holy love, and that not only in time but for
eternity. The confidence your friendship inspires in me makes
it easy to open my heart to you and beg your help in a matter
that is causing me a great deal of trouble. It is with regard to
our poor Sister J.F. who, I think has appeared to me twice now.
The first time she gave me some particulars about herself and
spoke of some other people I cannot mention. About her though,
I can tell you this much: she almost lost her soul and was saved
only by the Blessed Virgin. During her last agony Satan assaulted
her so furiously on three different occasions that for a while
she did not know if she was lost or saved.
Then the Blessed Virgin
came and snatched her from the very clutches of the devil. God
permitted that I should be on duty at the time because the
assistant infirmarian was sick. You would have pitied her had you
had seen the terrible struggle she was going through: she trembled
in every limb. Three times she cast herself from her bed onto
the floor, and once one could hear her say: "I am damned!" But
she was always conscious and her mind on God.
The first time I saw her after her death she said to me: "Ah,
what cruel pains I suffer! Five years will be a very long time
in such rigorous torments." I asked her what she wanted. She
asked for Masses and several other things our most honored Mother
kindly granted. I offered for her everything I would do and suffer
for six months.
Since that time, you may be sure, sufferings
have not been wanting. Our Lord has sent me as much as I could bear,
and in every form. During this time I have had a sore finger.
That was at the beginning of Lent (March 7). It had to be lanced
to the bone with a razor and it is not yet healed. But blessed
be the Lord Who has deigned to favor me with His cross. It is my glory.
The second time this good Sister made me see the pitiable state she
was in. She said "Oh, my poor Sister, what terrible torments I suffer!
Although I suffer for many things, there are three especially
for which I suffer more than all the rest. The first is my vow
of obedience, which I so poorly observed. I only obeyed when I liked,
and such obedience merits only condemnation in God's sight. The
second is my vow of poverty.
I was not willing to feel privation
and allowed my body many superfluous creature comforts. Ah, how
I am paying now for pampering it! How hateful in the eyes of God
are those religious who want to have more than is truly necessary
and are not perfectly detached! The third thing for which I suffer
especially is my lack of charity, for having caused discord between
others and being involved in it myself. For this the prayers offered
for me are not applied to me here. The Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ
sees me suffer without compassion because I had none for others
when I saw them suffering."
She asked me to write to you and beg you to have three Masses
said for her. She also asked that for nine days you offer your
Rosary and all your acts of fidelity in the observance of the rule,
and a Communion. This will give her much relief, in her suffering,
she says. She will not be ungrateful. This my dear Mother, is all
I can tell you about it.
As for our poor Sister M.F., I think she will not have more than
six months in purgatory. Then she will go to enjoy her sovereign
Good.
With regard to what Your good Charity asks about good Mother
Boulier, deceased. She no longer needs our help, it seems to
me. I think she is high in glory, among the ranks of those
Seraphim destined to render perpetual homage to the Sacred Heart of
Our Lord Jesus Christ in reparation for the terrible outrages He
has suffered in the Blessed Sacrament from our ingratitude and
coldness. She is very powerful to help you. And now that is all
I can say about her.
Ah, dear Mother, how much obliged I should be to you if you
would help me comfort my dear friends suffering in purgatory. That is
what I call these poor souls: my friends. There is nothing
I would not be willing to do and suffer to console them. Rest assured
that they will not be ungrateful.
A word about myself. Our Lord keeps on doing me many favors,
altogether unworthy though I be. The one I consider most precious
is conformity with Him in His life of suffering and humiliation.
He keeps me in a state of such perfect submission to His good
pleasure that I no longer care in what condition He places me.
As long as He is satisfied and I can love Him, that is enough.
This is what He suggests for me to dwell upon: "The cross do
I glory to bear, and love for it leadeth me e'er; love divine
my whole being doth own, and for me love sufficient alone."
I beg you to burn this letter after you have read it, and that
it be seen only by you.
I do not know whether or not I am being deceived in everything I
mention to you in this letter. I beg the Lord to enlighten you.
I am sure I could not have been dreaming because I was not asleep,
nor was I in bed. But I distrust myself.
To Mother Louise-Henriette de Soudeilles at Moulins
(31) From our monastery in Paray, June 30, 1685
I though most honored Mother,
that Your Charity had
completely forgotten me. But your kindness shown through your
letter to our dear Sister Marie Anne Cordier tells me the
opposite. You must rest assured that Our Lord has given me
so strong an inclination to love and esteem you in His Sacred
Heart that I would never forget you in His divine presence even
though you completely forgot me as unworthy of any remembrance.
I was pleased to hear of your re-election. I do not see beloved
Mother, why you are so grieved at it, since it is the Will of
God. His arm is not shortened nor His power diminished, so He
can be your strength in the future as he has been in the past.
What, then, have you to fear? All He asks is that have confidence
in His goodness. Then you will experience His gentle strength to
help you in your needs. This, however, will always be in proportion
to your confidence in Him.
My confidence is that Your Charity will obtain for me by your
holy prayers pardon for the poor use I have made of my
holy vocation up till now and the grace to be faithful to
it and to everything it demands of me. You would feel the effects
of my prayers for you, too, I can assure you, if I were not so
wicked. But alas, they are too tepid to get to the source
of love. I hope you will be completely buried and consumed in it,
and that we shall never cease to love Our Lord with all our hearts.
With sincere respect I am wholly and cordially yours.
To Mother Louise-Henriette de Soudeilles at Moulins
(32) From our monastery in Paray, August 17, 1685
I cannot express most honored Mother,
the pleasure I felt when
reading your last letter, I saw your desire of belonging wholly
to the Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ. For I think that
it is the way to make sure of our salvation, which is so much in peril
in this life of misery and corruption. But when we are completely
consecrated and pledged to this adorable Heart, to love and
honor It as much as we can, abandoning ourselves entirely to It, Our
Lord takes care of us and sees to it that, in spite of all storms,
we come safely into the harbor of salvation.
Dear Mother, do pray
the Lord that I may save my soul and not be deprived forever of
loving Him! Yes, I want to love Him no matter what it costs, and
I hope that you will love Him so ardently that your heart will
be consumed. Since He who loves is all powerful, let us love Him
and nothing will seem difficult to us.
But this love does not reign except in suffering. It does not
triumph except in true humility. One cannot enjoy it except through
union with Him. We shall find it in the Sacred Heart of Our
Lord Jesus Christ, and in His Heart we shall help each other to
attain it. Your Charity may be sure that I shall not forget her
there. In It I feel especially drawn to love and esteem you. All
for His glory and love, in which I am completely and most
affectionately yours.
Note sent by the Saint to Sister Marie-Madeleine des Escures,
relgious in the same community with her in Paray.
(33) (Probable date: towards end of August 1685)
Do not be surprised that I address you as my dear friend
in the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ.
He wants me to write to
you in this way in order to tell you of the great pain I am
suffering on account of my Sister V. (Sr. Francoise Rosalie
Verchere) The point is this. This morning on rising I thought
I clearly heard these words: "Tell your superior that she has
displeased me very much because in order to please others, she
did not hesitate to offend Me by refusing to let you make
the Communion I had ordered you to make each first Friday of
the month.
By offering Me to My eternal Father in that Holy
Communion you were to make satisfaction to His Divine Justice
through the merits of My Sacred Heart should any fault be committed
against Charity. For I have chosen you as a victim for this.
Because she has forbidden you to do My Will in this matter, I
am determined to demand sacrifice of this victim who is now
suffering."
This my dear Sister, torments and haunts me continuously. I
cannot put it out of my mind because I feel that I must tell
our Mother. Quite naturally, I am afraid to do so, because I
think all this is but a ruse of the devil, who wants to make
me singular by this Communion. Or maybe the whole thing is just
my imagination, or an illusion, because it is not to so miserable
a hypocrite as myself that the Lord would give such a grace as
this.
I beg you, my dear friend to tell me what you think and
thus free me from this anguish, since Our Lord wants me to ask
you. Do me this favor, all flattery aside. I am afraid I am resisting
God. I cannot tell you how much I am suffering on this score.
Ask Him to let you see this thing in its true light and to let
you know what He wants you to tell me. After that I will try not to
think of it anymore.
I ask another favor of you: keep this secret and burn this
letter. If you knew how wicked I am, you would not have difficulty
in telling me that all this is not from God. That is what I think.
One has to love another as much as I love you in order to be able
to write to her like this.
But I do so in secret sanctuary of the
Sacred Heart. He will reward you, I hope, for the charity you show
me. I do not have sufficient good judgment or discernment in my
own case. In what concerns myself, I prefer to follow the will
of another rather than my own. I find no difficulty in believing
what another says about me, unless she says something good. For I am wicked and full of defects.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(34) 1685
I can scarcely recognize myself in the state of suffering in
which I find myself overwhelmed and annihilated.
I am powerless
to do any good. The only thing I am still free to do, dear
Mother, is to speak of the Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus
Christ.
When I feel my sufferings increase I experience the same joy the
avaricious ambitious do on seeing their treasures increase. It
seems to me I sometimes suffer for the poor souls in purgatory.
Ah, dear Mother, how grateful I should be if you would help me by
your prayers to alleviate the pains of my dear friends suffering
in purgatory. Dear friends: that is what I call them. There is
nothing I would not be willing to do and suffer to relieve them.
I assure you they are not ungrateful.
I do not know whether I am deceiving myself in this, but I no longer
take any pleasure in anything in this miserable life except the
interests of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Often He nails me to the
cross despoiled of everything.
This is what came into my mind with regard to our institute. Our
Father, Saint Francis of de sales, that great friend of God,
fearing the foundations of his edifice might crumble, asked for
something that would sustain it. The Sacred Heart of Jesus was
given Him for that. This Sacred Heart would raise it up again,
be its place of refuge against the attacks of its enemies, support
it in the future so that it would not fall.
It is through the
intercession of the Blessed Virgin that he has obtained this
Powerful Protector. Through the unction of his Charity and the
sweetness of His divine love He will shower abundantly the
treasures of His sanctifying grace on those who accept Him and place
themselves under His protection.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(35) August 24, 1685
I assure you, beloved Mother,
that the state of suffering in
which I find myself overwhelmed and annihilated makes it impossible
for me to recognize myself and powerless to do any good. The only
thing I can still do is speak of the Sacred Heart of Our Lord
Jesus Christ. This unworthy creature will now write you a few
words about It, a few words concerning some special graces she
thinks she has received.
He gave her again to understand that He takes great pleasure in
being honored by His creatures. He then seemed to promise her
"that all those who are devoted to this Sacred Heart will never
perish and that, since He is the source of all blessings, He will
shower them in abundance where on every place where an image of this
loving Heart shall be exposed to be loved and honored.
By this means
He will reunite broken families and assist and protect those in
any necessity. He will spread the soothing unction of His ardent
charity on every religious community in which this Divine Image
is honored. He will turn aside the blows of the Just Wrath of
God by restoring them to His Grace when through sin they have
fallen from it. He will bestow a special grace of salvation
and sanctification on the first person who gives Him the pleasure
of having this holy image made."
But the slight reliance which this poor weak sinner ought to and
in fact does place, because of her great unworthiness, on all
that happens in her gives her no assurance that anything will be
accomplished except through obedience. However, while she felt
a strong compulsion in this matter but yet did not know what
excuse to give for herself except her own impotence, Our Lord
inspired a young man just from Paris, a relative of one of the novice
Sisters.
When the novice presented the matter to him, he offered
with admirable zeal to have this picture made, and as beautifully
as should be desired. It is only necessary now to give him the
design. I commend all this to your holy prayers so that it may
succeed for His glory. For there is no end of obstacles, and all
this miserable sinner has to do is get herself mixed up in it
and they will multiply on all sides.
Here, my dear Mother, are a few passing words that my heart, which
loves you tenderly, casts into the secret interior of yours. I tell
you plainly that I think you will do a thing very pleasing to God if
you consecrate and sacrifice yourself to this Sacred Heart, if you
have not already done so.
You must receive Holy Communion on some
first Friday of the month and, after it, offer Him the sacrifice of
yourself by dedicating to Him your whole being to be employed
in His service and to procure for Him all the glory, love, and
praise you can. This, my good Mother, is what I think the divine
Heart demands to perfect and consummate the work of your
sanctification.
As for my poor suffering souls in purgatory, I am truly more obliged
to you for the good you have done them than if you had done it to
myself. Do not think that they will be ungrateful. No, never.
Although poor Sister N, still suffers much, she will not forget the
good you have done her.
I have commended to the Sacred Heart of Jesus the person you have
mentioned.
I think that if she is able to take the generous step of surrendering
herself to God by a complete consecration to Him, she will accomplish
what
He is asking of her and make her salvation sure.
If you only knew, my good Mother, how difficult it is for me to
say all this. The thought that I am nothing but a hypocrite deceiving
people by a false show of piety makes me suffer much. Believe me,
I see myself so far removed from that disinterestedness God expects
of me that I think all my actions condemn me. That is why I so
earnestly beg you to burn all my letters. I do not want anything so
miserable
a sinner has written to remain behind to recall her memory after death.
I wish to remain blotted out and buried in eternal oblivion.
Since I am opening my heart to you I may as well honestly admit
that this urgent desire I feel to see myself forgotten and contemned
by creatures makes it a continual martyrdom for me to have to perform
the daily duties of the religious life and write letters and go
to the parlor. This seems a very hell to me.
What makes it even
more painful is that I think I can no longer express the repugnance
I feel for these things without offending Our Lord because of
a promise I made in connection with one of our little Sisters. When
she lay dangerously ill and in a coma and, what grieved our dear
Mother very much, not able to receive the last sacraments, Our
dear Mother had me receive Holy Communion for this intention.
Then
when I earnestly asked for this favor it seemed I distinctly heard
these words: "She will have the consolation of receiving all the
sacraments necessary at the hour of death if you are willing to make
the sacrifice of not showing repugnance any more to your duties, nor
at having to answer those whom I will direct to you at having to
go to the parlor." I at once made the sacrifice of all that because
I wanted what we were asking for to be granted.
At the same time I
made a promise to my Sovereign not even to show the repugnance I might
feel on this score. But it has become so violent since that promise
that I am at fault every time. I feel interior reproach at having
received what I asked for and yet not keeping my promise. You judge,
my dear Mother, whether that ought not cause me great distress.
O, how fortunate I should consider myself if I were unknown to
everyone and buried in eternal oblivion, yet without ever forgetting
you before Our Lord. By His love I beg you to tell me what you
think about what I have told you. Give me a few words of
encouragement, too, to help me travel along this road on which
I have no natural support or consolation. But that is not because
I do not have a good Mother, as good and charitable a Mother as
anyone could wish. God simply wills it so. May His holy name be
blessed eternally!
To Mother Greyfie, at Semur
(36) 1685
If only you knew how much I feel drawn to the love of the Sacred
Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ!
It seems to me life has been
given me only for that. And yet I do just the opposite! He
does me favors constantly and I repay Him only with ingratitude.
He favored me with a visit which was wonderfully fruitful by
reason of the holy sentiments it left in my heart.
He has
strengthened me in the conviction that He takes great pleasure
in being loved, known and honored by His creatures. This pleasure
is so great that, if I am not mistaken, He promised me that all
those who are devoted and consecrated to Him will never be lost.
Since He is the source of all blessings, He will shower them in
abundance on every place where a picture of His divine Heart shall
be set up and honored. He will reunite broken families, will protect
and help
those who are in necessity and those who approach Him with confidence.
He will pour out the sweet unction of His ardent Charity on every
religious community that honors Him and places itself under His
special protection. He will turn aside the blows of divine Justice so
as to restore to grace those who have fallen from it.
He has given
me to understand that His Sacred Heart is the Holy of Holies, the
very sanctuary of love. He wishes that It be now recognized as
the Mediator between God and men. He is all powerful to bring them
peace, turning aside the just punishments our sins have drawn upon
us and obtaining mercy for us.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(37) 1685
Truly, dearest Mother,
I feel great confusion at your thinking that
a poor wicked sinner like myself can know the science of the saints
and speak their language. You are letting yourself be deceived,
and letting me be deceived also, by giving credence to anything I say.
I tell you everything quite simply as Your Charity says she wants me to
do.
This is what I think on the subject you asked me about: If the person
you mention accepts what is offered her and does her best to make
good use of it, she will glorify God and sanctify her soul. But she
must do everything only with the aim of pleasing God. I am not
forgetting
to pray, either, for the other person about whom you wrote.
But the
Sacred
Heart of Our Lord will reign with difficulty over hers because she
lets pleasure rule over it too much. We most hope for everything from
the
goodness of our God, in Whose love, dearest Mother, I am yours.
To Mother Greyfie, at Semur
(38)
I can no longer occupy myself with anything but the Sacred Heart of
my Savior.
I would die content if I had but procured for Him some
honor, even though I should reap eternal punishment as a reward.
Provided I can love Him and He reigns, that is enough for me.
Because
of contradictions, I have often been on the point of ceasing to speak
of It, but I was so severely reprimanded for the empty fears by
which satan was trying to intimidate me, and afterwards so encouraged
and strengthened, that I resolved, no matter what it might cost me, to
persevere to the end, as long as obedience did not forbid it. In that
case I would drop everything because I always yield my views and
sentiments to it.
To Mother Greyfie, at Semur
(39) January, 1686
I thought you were going to tell me not to think any more about
introducing
this devotion to the Sacred Heart,
just as if it were an empty figment
of my imagination. And I was ready to submit, so little credence do
I give to what takes place in me. But when my eyes rested upon the
picture you sent of this only object of our love, I think I can say
I took on a new life. I had been plunged in a sea of bitterness
and suffering, but all this was changed into such great peace and
submission to all the dispositions of divine Providence in my regard
that since then it seemed nothing could disturb me.
My only desire now
is to procure glory for this Sacred Heart. How happy I should consider
myself if, before I die, I could give Him some pleasure! You can be
of great service to me in bolstering up my poor failing courage. It
is always a new death to me when I must show myself and make myself
known. Now it is worse than ever.
The more I try to bury myself
in my nothingness and live in that abyss, poor and quite unknown
to everybody, the more new acquaintances He brings me. But, ah, why
have I deceived people so much! I have no heavier cross. Yet if
Our Lord, in His sweet bounty, would not send me humiliations and
contradictions, which are my just due, I should be disconsolate.
But I am talking beside the point and not sticking to what I was saying
to you about the devotion to the Sacred Heart and the plan of
having it honored. I think He showed me the names of several people
written there because of their desire to cause It to be honored.
For that reason He will never allow them to be effaced.
But He did
not tell me that His friends would have nothing to suffer. Rather, He
wants them to make their greatest happiness consist in tasting the
bitterness He suffered. I say these few words in passing to explain
to you the goodness and desires of Our Sovereign Master.
Ah, how
could it be possible for us not to want to love Him with all our might
and strength, in spite of all opposition! It is not wanting, as you
well know. But I am determined either to overcome these obstacles
with the help of this adorable Heart of Jesus Christ, or to die.
I cannot tell you the consolation you have given me in sending the
picture of this loving Heart. I was very much consoled also at your
being willing, together with your whole community, to help us honor
It. That caused me transports of joy a thousand times greater than if
you had put me in possession of all the treasures of earth!
To Mother Greyfie, at Semur
(40) (Around February, 1686)
I cannot sufficiently express my joy at the growth of the
devotion to the Sacred Heart of my Savior.
I seem to live
only for that. He sometimes enkindles me in my heart so ardent a
desire to make Him reign in all hearts that there is nothing I
would not be willing to do and suffer for that. Even the pains
of hell would be sweet, if I could suffer them without sin.
One day when I was inflamed with this ardent desire in the presence
of the Blessed sacrament, He showed me, if I am not deceiving myself,
the intense love and joy of the Seraphim, and I heard these words:
"Would you not prefer to rejoice with them than to suffer and be
humiliated and despised, so as to contribute to the establishment
of my reign in the hearts of men?"
At that, without a moment's
hesitation, I embraced the Cross all bristling with thorns and nails
which was presented to me, and exclaimed over and over again, "O,
my only Love! O, I would find it much more sweet and desirable, and
would far prefer to suffer in order to make you known and loved, if
only You honor me with this grace, than to be deprived of these
things and become one of these glowing Seraphs!" This disposition
has remained with me ever since, and I have enjoyed such tender
manifestations of love on the part of this adorable Heart that it
is impossible for me to describe them.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(41) March 2, 1686.
Dearest Mother,
I would be glad to know whether you will be able to have a copper-
plate made for printing pictures of the Sacred Heart of Our good
Master. I think He has chosen you for that. He has made this very
clear to me, for others have offered themselves and tried to do
what they could to make a success of it but have gotten nowhere.
That is why I must approach Your Charity and tell you what I think
to be the will of this Divine Heart. He manifested it to me in this
way: you were the first He wanted me to tell of His ardent desire
to be known, loved, and glorified by His creatures. I do not know
whether I am deceiving myself or whether you remember what I told you
or not, but I do know this: I feel myself strongly urged to tell
you for Him that it would be a great piece of good fortune for you
if you could procure Him this honor.
The reward shall not be wanting.
It is purely for His Glory and it seems to me dear Mother, that He
will increase your own glory if you do this. Moreover, your name
will be written indelibly in this Sacred Heart. But since He wishes
that you give Him this pleasure disinterestedly, purely out of love
for Him, He does not allow me to tell you other nice things He has
in store for you if you give him this consolation.
We shall take no further action till after you have refused. Let us
know
whether you are in a position to do anything. I am told that it
will certainly cost two louis d'or (about ten dollars). I have been
ordered to approach someone else if you refuse. Do not let what
I am telling you worry you. I am simply saying what I think. You can
give it some consideration and then do what ever Our Lord inspires
you to do.
You well know, my good Mother, that you have a great share in this
holy devotion, and that you ought to interest yourself in it as
much as you can. I assure you that I would die content if only I could
see this Sacred Heart known, loved, and honored. But I am only
an obstacle. How fortunate are those souls who are wholly His; who
love only in Him and for Him!
On the feast of our holy founder (St. Francis de Sales, January
29) it seemed to me he showed me very clearly his ardent desire that
the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ be known, loved and honored by all
the members of his Institute.
He said that this was the most
efficacious
means he had been able to obtain to raise it up after its falls and
to prevent it from succumbing to a spirit foreign to it, a spirit
full of pride and ambition, which seeks only to ruin the spirit of
humility and simplicity on which the edifice rests. satan is eager
to destroy this but he will not be able to do so if this Sacred Heart
be its defense and support....
To Mother Greyfie, at Semur
(42) Lent, 1686
Of the many ways in which I am tormented and persecuted one of the
worst is to feel that I am a plaything of satan,
that he has always
led me on and deceived me by his false illusions. And I see nothing
in myself which is not worthy of eternal chastisement, since I not
only have deceived myself, but have been so unfortunate as to
deceive others by my hypocrisy, though I do not mean to.
What confirms
me in this stand against myself is that it is the same one taken by
this good servant of God, N. I have ample reason to bless the goodness
of the Lord a thousand times over for having brought him across
my path to blot out the false opinions other have of me.
Nothing
gives me more happiness than to see others undeceived in this way,
and to see myself placed in a position to satisfy in some way the
Divine Justice. My own miserable self is exposed to the light of day.
Now I am seen for what I really am, and so henceforth can remain
forever forgotten in the world.
This thought fills me with a sweet
complacency. I feel a great need of being humiliated: but I do
not know how to bring this about, seeing that there is nothing lower
than myself, sinful nothingness that I am. Ask the Sacred Heart of
our loving Savior for my perfect conversion.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(43) March, 1686
Dear Mother,
It makes me happy even now in anticipation to think how delighted you
will be to have some of the relics of our saintly Father de la
Colombiere,
whose body the Reverend Jesuits Fathers have had transferred to
their new Church. We were presented, in deepest secrecy, with a small
bone from the ribs, and with his cincture. I want to share them with
you, knowing that you will cherish them in away commensurate with
your esteem for this great servant of God.
I cannot tell you how much consolation it gives me to see the zeal
you show for the Sacred Heart of our divine Spouse. If you are
taking the place of this holy priest here on earth, he is, as I
believe, taking your place in heaven in loving and honoring It.
I trust this divine Heart will reign in spite of all opposition.
As for myself, I can do nothing but suffer and be silent. For I
must confess to you as my good Mother that never before have I
been reduced to such a state of humiliation and contradiction from
creatures. I am afraid I may succumb at any moment under the weight
of this cross His good deigns to send me.
Yet I must
assure you that I have never found my God so good to me. Despite my
great wretchedness He never abandons me. I have no other refuge but
His adorable Heart, which always answers for me and is my defender.
Pray much for me, and rest assured that I do not forget you in His
Presence.
If I do not tell you everything in detail, it is because
I cannot, wishing as I do to suffer in silence. I am sending these
few passing words only to make you realize the need I have of your
holy prayers. Since you are so interested in me, bless our Sovereign
Master for sharing His cross with me.
O my dear Mother, how good it is to live and die crushed under its
weight, deprived of all consolation! This is pure love's great
ambition. It never gives the soul handed over to its power any rest.
I want indeed to be one of these souls. It seems to me I would like
to have a thousand bodies with which to suffer, a million hearts with
which to love Him and a million souls with which to adore Him. Ask
His goodness not to permit me to waste these precious moments He is
giving me for doing penance, so that I may not be deprived of Him
forever.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(44) March 20, 1686.
I am afraid, beloved Mother,
that I have not sufficiently
explained myself with regard to the Sacred Heart of Our Lord
Jesus Christ. I think I told you that the picture He wanted
Your Charity to have made for His glory and your good should
be nicely engraved, so that each one might buy it according to his
own devotion. They should have in view nothing but His glory, for
which He earnestly desires that this devotion take root in all
hearts so that He may hold undisputed sway there. This, then my
dear Mother is what I thought He was asking of you.
For this He will
abundantly reward you, I think with graces of sanctification and
salvation: and not only you but all who contribute to bringing Him
this pleasure. I assure you that I never would have spoken of it to
you had I had not felt myself strongly urged to do so. For other
persons had already given us money for this project. But even so I did
not dare to do anything else until after you had refused to act.
Then,
too, perhaps the money for your fervent community intends to furnish
is for hiring an artist to paint one and frame it, as the superior
at Semur has done for her community. They have great devotion to
this Sacred Heart there. They have erected an altar and pay Him much
homage, and that with great fruit, too. They adopted this devotion on
hearing read the Retreat of Reverend Father de la Colombiere.
Our very honored Mother wants our community to have a chapel built
later on, in which it is to be placed a beautiful picture of the
Sacred Heart. That is why she did not want to be hurried into
accepting the generous offer of the young man I mentioned. Since the
very honorable Mother at Semur has sent her a little sketch of their
picture, our dear Sister Marie Louise has done her best to copy it
so as to send it to you.
However there are some things in theirs which
do not appear in ours: as, for instance, the four heads of Cherubim
in the four corners, and the hearts intertwined in the crown of thorns.
These latter represent those who love Him in suffering. The hearts that
appear in the liens d'amour are those who love Him in joy.
I beg you, my good and dear Mother, to let me know as soon as
possible what you are able to do, and what you want to do, before
the good Father has anything done. I want you to feel that you are
not obliged to do anything because of what I say. I am only taking
the liberty to tell you what I think as you say you wish me to do.
I have little to say about myself, dear Mother, except our Lord
is pleased to keep me in a state of continual suffering.
I hardly know
myself anymore. My strength is so failed that I have the greatest
difficulty in dragging about this miserable carrion of sin. Yet when
I see my suffering increase I seem to experience joy nearly
comparable to that which the most avaricious and ambitious experience
at seeing their treasures increase. I think these sufferings are
sometimes for one of the holy souls in Purgatory, but maybe I am
deceiving myself in this, as in everything else.
I should like to
stay a moment longer with you, but not being able to do as I like I
cannot. May the Lord be blessed in everything! He leaves me no
other pleasure in this miserable life except that of not having any.
I find no consolation, nor can I even speak, except when there is
question of His most Sacred and lovable Heart. My whole occupation
and conversation is with Him.
With regard to your role in our devotion, you must not doubt but that
you will be its benefactress if you are able to do what we proposed
above. I await your reply, begging the while a special remembrance
for this poor wretched sinner in your holy prayers, for she will
never forget you in her most unworthy and halting prayers. I beg
the divine Consoler to consume us in His holy love.
To Mother Greyfie, at Semur
(45) March, 1686.
Yes, the Sacred Heart of my Jesus continues always to show me His
mercy,
notwithstanding His wretched slave's continual ingratitude and
infidelity. These will be atoned for in some measure, I hope, by
the devotedness of your dear community in honoring Him. He takes
special pleasure in this.
If He has not allowed you, in introducing
this devotion, to encounter the cross for which His love has deigned
to destine, it is because He wishes me to carry it for both of us.
He made me for this, and I can serve Him in no other way. He is
always causing me to find new consolation among the scourges and
thorns, midst which He is now keeping me fixed to the cross. Beg of
Him that I may not abuse so great a good, but make use of it as He
intends.
I ask you to do me the favor of telling me secretly whether I ought to
worry about all the annoying consequences which this cross has brought
me. The only thing I feel sorry about in this whole affair is that God
has been much offended. All the rest does not disturb my peace of
soul at least, even though I seem to be shut up in a dark prison and
surrounded by crosses which I embrace one after.
That is all I do
at present. The Sacred Heart of my Jesus deigned meanwhile to send
me help I did not expect. A great servant of God (Father Gette, S.J.)
wrote me recently saying that while saying Holy Mass he felt himself
strongly moved to say it every Saturday this year for me, or for
my intentions, so that I could dispose of them as I wished. So now you
shall have it one Saturday and I the next. And we shall also have a
share in all the other holy sacrifices he will celebrate.
This is
the gift I give you, and I am sure you will not be displeased with it.
But do you not marvel with me the mercies of the Lord and the
wonderful sweetness of His adorable Heart to His wretched slave for
having sent me this strong support since the first Saturday in Lent
(March 2,) ? It was then He began to redouble the many crosses He
deigned
to send me.
I should have been crushed by their weight had He Himself
not strengthened me because of the intercession of holy souls who
pray for me. The good religious who has done me this charity does not
know me nor I him, except by name. I have never felt more at peace.
Bless the Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ for this.
To Mother de Saumaise, at Dijon
(46) April 23, 1686
Most Honored Sister And Beloved Mother,
I feel very mortified at not having been able to answer your last
letter. I kept hoping I would be able to speak with this good Father,
who had promised me this copper plate would be ready after Easter.
But he is kept so busy by the heretics, that he has neither time nor
leisure to carry out this work which the adorable Heart of our divine
Master so ardently desires.
You have no idea, beloved Mother, how
much this delay grieves me and how much suffering it causes me. I
must tell you confidentially that I think it for this reason that
so few infidels are converted in this town. I seem continually to
be hearing these words "If only this good Father had first fulfilled
the promise he had made to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, he would have
changed the hearts of those infidels and converted them.
The pleasure
this Divine Heart would have had at seeing Itself honored by the
picture It desired would have effected this. But since other things,
although for His glory, are being preferred to giving Him this
satisfaction, He will harden the hearts of these infidels and the
work in their behalf will not bear much fruit".
This, dear Mother, is what torments me more than I can say. It is
a thing I must suffer without being able to apply a remedy. I
cannot make it known to him (the good Father) who could relieve it.
I hope, nonetheless, that the plate will be made as soon as possible;
as soon, that is, as this goof Father has a little more leisure. Then
we shall send you as many copies as you wish.
It is indeed a great consolation to me to see you so prompt to do
what you think the Sacred Heart wants of you. I proposed it to you
little thinking you would pay any attention to it because of my
unworthiness so well known to you. How fortunate you are to have
given the two louis d'or! We have received them and our most honored
Mother will keep them until the picture is finished.
I think, I can
assure you, and indeed I feel urged to, that money never has been
more richly repaid than it will be in this case. I think you have given
more pleasure to the Sacred Heart by this liberality you have shown
directly to Him than you have in anything else you have to do in
your whole life.
Let me say in closing, dear Mother, that we should indeed be blessed
could we but give our lives to procure honor for this lovable Heart.
In It, I am wholly yours.
As soon as the plate for this holy picture is finished I shall let
you know at once. That will be at the earliest possible date, for
I shall have no rest until it is finished.
To Her Novices
(47) (Around the Feast of the finding of the Holy Cross) 1686.
My Very Dear and Beloved Sisters
In The Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus.
I cannot tell you the sorrow I feel at the bad use we are making
of such a wonderful opportunity to give Him proofs of our love and
fidelity. It is He Himself Who has allowed us to find this Cross
in preparation for Its feast. But we, instead of embracing it lovingly,
are trying to shake it off and be rid of it. Not being able to do that
we are committing a thousand faults which fill this Divine Heart with
sorrow and bitterness against us.
Whence comes this, if not from a
too great love of self which makes us fear loosing our reputation
and the good opinion we want others to have of us? This makes us seek
to justify ourselves and always think we are innocent and others
guilty; we are always right and others all wrong. But believe me,
dear sisters, humble souls are far removed from such thoughts and
think themselves more guilty than anyone can make them appear to be
by accusing them.
Oh, dear Sisters, if we only knew how much we lost by not profiting
by occasions of suffering we would be much more careful not to loose
a moment of it. Let us not deceive ourselves; if we do not make
better use of the occasions offered us for suffering, humiliations,
and contradictions, we shall loose favor with the Sacred Heart of
Jesus Christ.
He wishes us to love and to consider as our dearest
friends and benefactors all those who make us suffer or furnish us
with an occasion for it. So let us be sorry for having given this
displeasure to the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ by frustrating His
designs
on us.
To ask His pardon, all of you together must take a discipline next
Tuesday for the length of time required to say an Ave Maris Stella.
Each day from now until the Feast of the Sacred Heart each one in
turn will continue to do so, so that one will be taking it each day.
Moreover, in honor of the terrible sufferings of Jesus on the Cross,
each
one will wear the chain for three hours. each day one will say the
Miserere prostrate before her crucifix, and hear a Mass. All this to
ask God's mercy through the merits of the Sacred Heart of our Lord
Jesus Christ.
Moreover, you will refrain from speaking about....
and from making any mention all of this matter to another. Take up
again your former practices. She who loves the most will do the most.
You must commit no willful fault.
Between yourselves say nine offices
of the dead for the souls in purgatory that they may obtain for us
the grace of being reinstated in the friendship of the Sacred Heart
and of being able to establish His devotion in this community. For this
same intention, as well as to ask for the spirit of union and
fraternal charity for one another, you will say every day the Ave
Maria Filia Dei Patris, plus the Sanctus Deus three times. | | | | | | | | |