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THE INFLUENCE OF PARENTS

By George W. Sinquefield
 

(Mat 5:16 KJV) Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

       Charles N. Pickell in his book "Works Count Too," has this word to parents. "To be sure, we are each responsible for what we do with our life, but the life in our hands, which we nurture and mold, is that of our children.

        Generation after generation children are born into homes they did not choose, to parents they did not select. They come with sparkling potential and amazing capacity to learn. They come without prejudices, are open to guidance, and will respond to discipline. Like a bud about to blossom they are in the process of becoming what they will be.  For better or worse, their life is committed to parent's hands. It is as if God were saying as Pharaoh's daughter said to the mother of Moses, "Take this child away, and nurse it for me and I will give thee thy wages."

        George S. Benson, educator, Searcy, Arkansas said: "Great ideals and principles do not live from generation to generation just because they are right, nor even because they have been carefully legislated. Ideals and principles continue from generation to generation only when they are built into the hearts of the children as they develop and grow up to maturity."

        Someone has said, "When God wants a great work done in this world, He goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn't stir up His earthquakes or send forth His thunderbolts. Instead, He takes a helpless baby, born perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother, and brings that child up under the right teaching and brings him to an acceptance of Christ and of God's plan for his life and then God waits until he is ready for the time when the work is to be done"

I.    Children are great imitators.

        A little boy came home and said, "Mama, I have been playing "Keeps" and look at this handful of marbles that I won from the little Jones boy."

        She said, "Why shame on you, playing keeps and getting that little boy's marbles. You trot right over there and take his marbles back.

        He said, "But Mama, I won them fair and square playing keeps."

        She said, "You take them back to the little Jones boy."

        He walked off and looked back and said, "Now Mama, shall I take Mrs. Jones' vase back that you won in the bridge game the other day while I am taking the marbles back?"

        She thought for a moment and said, "Well, yes, I guess maybe you had better do that too, if I am going to be consistent."

        A man who gambled habitually, drank rather heavily, and  did other things of which he was not proud went to a pastor and said, "Preacher, I don't want my two boys to be like me. I want them to be like you and their Sunday School teacher and the deacons in your church. I have told my wife to see to it that they go to every service at the church and I want you to spend as much time with them as you can. I don't want them to be like me."

        The pastor and the church tried to help both the boys and their father, but after several years had passed, the boys were more like the father than they were like the deacons. He wanted to keep from influencing them but he could not.

        When he was president of Princeton University, Woodrow Wilson was visited by some mad parents who complained about the lack of discipline  among their sons and they asked, "Why can't you do something with our boys?" Without a moment of hesitation Wilson replied, "Because they are your boys."

        A very wealthy woman who had been saved for only seven years said to a minister, "Pray for my boy. Pray for my girl. They have no interest in the things of God. I can never get them to hear the Word of God. They are courteous and polite if I bring a servant of the Lord to my home, but they will allow no one to say a word to them and they will not read the Bible."

        And then she added, "The worst of it is, that they are what they are because I brought them up that way. Until seven years ago I lived the life they are living. I led them in the path they are now going. The Bible was never opened in our home until my husband died and left me a broken hearted woman, surrounded with all the luxuries he had give to me, and I was crying out for something that could help me. Christ came to me, but it was too late to turn my children's steps in the right way. They are treading the path on which I started them."

        Adolph Hitler is perhaps the most hated man of recent years. His family life was almost guaranteed to breed a tyrant. As a small child he was bullied, beaten, and denounced as a weakling and a worthless idler by his drunkard father. Adolph Hitler spent his entire adult life bullying others, seeking to prove his own worth. Millions of lives throughout the entire world were destroyed because of Hitler's fears that his father was right.

        Spurgeon said, "Children will imitate their fathers in their vices, seldom in their repentance."  

        Someone has given parents this good advice, "Do not allow anything in your life that you do not want reproduced in your children's lives."

        "Every man is bound to tolerate the act of which he himself has set the example." -- Phaedrus

II.    Parents are to set the right example before their children.

        Hear again the words of George Herbert, "We live in an age that hath more need of good examples than precepts."

        Burke said, "Example is the school of mankind and they will learn in no other."

        Nothing is so infectious as example.

        Henry C. Link has written on the topic, "Children Are Made." It is obvious that many influences go into their making -- the neighbors, the schools, the government, the churches -- but the parents are the most important factor of all.

        Precept and example are the two principal teachers used by parents, and the greatest of these is example. Whether the training is good or bad depends to a great extent on the kind of example parents give.

        Few generation of children have been more pampered materially than this one. On the other hand, so many have been deprived of what they most need for growth into strong and responsible maturity.

       A child was asked why a certain tree in the garden was crooked. He said he s'posed somebody must have stepped on it when it was a little fellow.  

"As the Twig Is Bent . . ."

If a child lives with hostility,
    he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear,
    he learns to be afraid.
If a child lives with pity,
    he learns to feel sorry for himself.
If a child lives with encouragement,
    he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with praise,
    he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with love,
    he learns to love.
If a child lives with recognition,
    he learns to have a goal.
If a child lives with fairness,
    he learns justice.
If a child lives with honesty,
    he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with friendliness,
    he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.
                                                  (Author Unknown)

    POSSIBILITIES

I took a piece of plastic clay,
    And idly fashioned it one day,
And as my fingers pressed it still
    It moved and yielded to my will.
I came again when days were passed,
    The bit of clay was hard at last.
The form I Gave it still it bore,
    But I could change it nevermore.
I took a piece of living clay
    And gently formed it day by day;
And molded it with power and art:
    A young child's soft and yielding heart.
I came again when years were gone
    It was a man I looked upon.
He still the early impress wore,
    And I could change him nevermore.
                              -- Anon.

        The admonition given by Jesus certainly applies to parents. Children are taught in the main, not by what parents say but by what they do.

        Two men who were driving on a country road had lost their way and stopped to ask directions. A friendly farmer told them to continue as they were going to the first crossroad, and then turn to the right. The men thanked him and drove on. When they came to the crossroad, the driver turned to the left. His companion said, "That man said turn right." "I know," said the driver, "but he pointed to the left.

        From "Redeeming Love," by Dr. O. A. Geiseman.
 

Parents.

    "We have persons of more mature years in our audience who once had the holy experience of kneeling at the altar of the Lord and vowing that they would remain faithful and true in their devotion to Christ, in the task of building His kingdom, but who long, long since have forgotten  all about that vow. Well, that all just goes to show how difficult it is to be true to Christ, to live unto Him who died for you. For that reason it is not enough that we just have these young Christians exhorted and say to them, be careful because the forces of evil will try to destroy you. If they are to remain faithful, then those of us who are their brothers and sisters in faith owe them a duty of love, and this applies first of all to their own fathers and mothers."

        Oh, how I wish that we could make this plain to every father and mother. Fathers and mothers so often seem to think in this day of spiritual indifference and religious carelessness that they have done their duty by their children when they send them on to church for a few weeks or months of religious instruction. My friends, you are the fathers and mothers. You are the ones who God has first made responsible for the souls of these children. When the Great Day comes He is going to ask their souls from your hands. It will be for you to answer. We do not teach our children only by what we tell them. We teach them chiefly by what we do. It is not enough for you just to say, "Go to church. Do this. Do that." If you do not do it yourself you are undermining everything you say by your failure so to do.  

        "Don't you ever take wine?," said a hospitable host to a friend. "Are you afraid of it?" "No," replied the wise friend, "I am afraid of the example."

        Often we see the following sign on the highway -- "yield." It means you may proceed unless someone else is involved. Often parents must yield for the sake of their children.

                   "I Did Like Mother and It Killed Me"

        What imitators are little children! A small girl watched, with absorbing interest, everything which was happening at mother's card party. She observed how mother was dressed; how she dealt the cards; how the women drank cocktails, and how freely they smoked their cigarettes!

        Next day, the girl gathered her playmates together to play party. She dressed herself in some of her mother's clothes. Slipping into her mother's room she got mother's package of cigarettes. Returning to her little playmates, she put a cigarette in her mouth, struck a match, and in lighting the cigarette, she accidentally ignited the over size dress she was wearing. Instantly, she became a "human torch!" A few hours later, her little charred body lay still in death! As she died, she gasped, "I did like mother, and it killed me!"  

        A man was taking his 17 year old daughter to see a friend. He ran a red light and hit another car. She was thrown partially out of the car and was dragged some distance. The car turned over on her and took her life. Her last words were, "Daddy you killed me," "Daddy you killed me." You can kill your child spiritually by sheer indifference, neglect and by influencing them in the wrong way.

III.    Children will follow their parents.

        God help mothers and fathers to say to their children as the Apostle Paul said, "Follow me as I follow the Lord." What the country needs more than psychiatrists for children is guidance for parents.

        A young mother showing off her firstborn expressed fear that she might not know how to raise the child because it was the first thing she had gotten which did not have a book of directions. A thoughtful hearer reminded her that God's Word was a good book of direction for raising a child. Strict obedience to the Bible will make parents the best possible people in training a young life.

        "Bring up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Josh Billings translates it this way: "Train up a child in the way that he should go, and walk therein yourself."

        Paul wrote to young Timothy: "I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois." 2 Tim. 1:5. Young Timothy benefited from the godly influence of a grandmother and mother who modeled "genuine faith" and gave him an early knowledge of the Scriptures (2 Tim. 3:15). He was also profoundly affected by the life, teaching, and encouragement of the apostle Paul. Even after they all had died, the influence of Timothy's grandmother, his mother, and the apostle Paul lived on through Timothy, who passed on to other men and women the wonderful truths that had been passed on to him.

        One has said, "If you want your influence to last, put Jesus first."

        A little girl said, "My mother is the light of the world." That should be said of every mother and father.

        I hope your child can one day say as one young man did, "I have the most wonderful heritage in the world. My father was a man of God and he left his imprint on me."

        No adult, whether he be parent, school instructor, minister, Sunday School teacher or any other who has contact with youth, can afford to gamble on the outcome or assume his responsibilities to youth lightly. A child is the masterwork of the divine power, and any adult who allows it to become blighted must be held accountable.

IV.    Parents, lead you child to accept Christ as his personal Savior.

        I shall never forget the words of an old man (80 years old) who said, "The saddest thing in the world to me is to see parents going to hell and leading their children with them."

                                  Conversion of Children  

       Too much stress cannot be laid upon the importance of the conversion of children, and that, while they are quite young. History gives us many instances to support this thought. Here are a few:

        Polycarp, one of the early church fathers, was genuinely converted at the age of nine.

        Isaac Watts, the writer of the hymn "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross," was saved by the time he was ten years old.

        Jonathan Edwards, the great apostle of the New England revival, was saved when only seven years of age -- The Herald of Hope.  

        Dr. Bob Barker, pastor of First Baptist Church, Chickasaw, Alabama said, "It is strange how we cry when one dies physically but we can live with one lost (a spiritual corpse) and laugh and joke and never shed a tear."

        A father and his boy heard a minister preach a sermon on the judgment and as they went to their home the father said, "My boy, it was a great sermon and you must think about it." And the boy did. He made his way to his room and threw himself on his bed only to hear his father downstairs laughing and singing; and he said to himself, "It is not true, for if my father believed I was in danger of the judgment he could not laugh and he would not sing." That day was the turning point in the boy's life. He became a man of renown but never a believer in Jesus Christ as we accept Him.

        Shortly before the tragedy which took the lives of more than 400 children in a little Texas town a few years ago, a mother came to the preacher during a revival and said, "My little children want to be baptized. They have been saved and they have trusted Christ. They are old enough to be saved and to be baptized, but," she said, "I don't want them to be baptized as children. Let them grow up and make up their own minds and when they get grown, if they want to be baptized, then let them be baptized."

        A few weeks after that, she came to this preacher and said, as she unfolded her billfold and showed the pictures of two beautiful children, "A few weeks before the blast they begged to be baptized and join the church. Here are their pictures." Se said, "I would not let them I sent them off to school that morning and never saw them alive again."

        George Truett for forty-four years as pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas, tells the story in his church, many, many year ago, about a man who was sixty-four year of age that came and was saved in his meeting. He seemed to be so happy because he had gotten saved. Next Sunday he came back and George Truett said that he saw him sitting in the audience. When the service was over Dr. Truett made his way to him and said, "My friend, you have been saved for a week and I look forward to seeing you again today, you seem to be so unhappy, tell me what's troubling you?"

        The sixty-four year old man said, "Mr. Truett, there is not a shadow of doubt about it, I know I'm saved. I know Christ is in my life." He said, "I've lived sixty-four year without God." He said, "I let my wife die and I don't know where she went." He said, "This morning I went to the home of both of my grown sons and said, "Boys, I want you to go to church with me."

        They said, "Dad, you lived sixty-four years without it, let us live our own lives."

        He said, "What hurt me most was that I looked at one of my grandsons and said, "Son, why don't you go to church this morning with your granddad. I've been saved and I want you to know my Jesus. I want you to go to church with me." And the old man said, "Oh, preacher my grandson looked at me and he looked at his daddy and winked and said, "Granddaddy, when I'm sixty-four I'll be saved too."

        Parents listen to me. Your first need is to make sure of your salvation. Surrender all to Jesus as Lord and Savior. And secondly, is your child's salvation. Lead that boy or girl to a saving knowledge of Jesus.

        We need more parents like the mother of Augustine. Just before she died, she said, "I've seen my greatest aim accomplished -- to see my son a Christian. Now I can die in peace."

        In a revival in Atlanta, Georgia, an old man renewed his allegiance to the Lord. Years before he had been loyal and faithful but money making and other things caused him to stray away. His family was reared during the time he was away from the Lord. The day after the rededication of his life to the Lord, he awoke happy and determined to make things right with his fellows as he had with the Lord. He went down town and paid a man $100 he had cheated him out of in the trade. He paid another man a bill which he had refused to pay. He went to another man and begged his pardon for having done him a wrong. "I am getting things straightened out nicely," he said to himself, "and I am happy." On his way home he stopped at the cemetery and , looking down upon the graves of two sons, both of whom had filled drunkards' graves, raised his face heavenward and wailed out, "Great God, here is something I can't straighten out."

        Parents don't be so foolish that you fail to give yourselves to Jesus and then lead your children to do the same before it is too late.

        Some has asked a soul searching question; "Will you child meet you upon the streets of gold and bless you for being such a good Christian parent and say to you, "Because of your Christ-like life I am here in glory. Because of your concern for my salvation, you led me to know the Lord. I am here because of you. Or will he meet you in the awful fire of hell where the flames torment for all eternity and cry to you saying, "You are the cause of me lying here. I loved you and trusted you but you never told me how to be saved. If your child goes to hell because you failed to lead him to know Christ as his Savior, there is one person he will hate more than he does the devil and that person will be you."  

 THE HEART OF A CHILD  

Whatever you write on the heart of a child,
    No wathers can wash it away.
The sands may be shifted when billows are wild
    And the efforts of time may decay.
Some stories may perish,
    Some songs be forgot:
But this engraven record,
    Time changes it not.

Whatever you write on the heart of a child,
    A story of gladness or care
That heaven has blessed, or that earth has defiled,
    Will linger unchangeably there.
Who writes it has sealed it
    Forever and aye,
He must answer to God
    On the great Judgment Day.