At the age of seven I heard somebody say they loved me.
"FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH, BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE." John 3:16
In December of 1997 I had a dream. In it I believed the LORD told me He would reconcile my Daddy to me. The Holy Spirit knew my secret cry. I kept it hidden inside myself.
He took my petition to the Son. Jesus reviewed my case and brought it to the Father's eyes. I prepared to 'wait' on the Lord. This scripture was on the tip of my tongue as I woke.
I took it to myself as a Promise. I take The WORD personal.
"FEAR NOT,Daniel: (Roberta) FOR FROM THE FIRST DAY THAT THOU DIDST SET THINE HEART TO UNDERSTAND, AND TO CHASTEN THYSELF BEFORE THY GOD, THY WORDS WERE HEARD AND I AM COME FOR YOUR WORDS." Daniel 10:12
October 21,2001 the LORD kept His promise.
"BUT THEY THAT WAIT UPON THE LORD SHALL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH; THEY SHALL MOUNT UP WITH WINGS AS EAGLES; THEY SHALL RUN, AND NOT BE WEARY; AND THEY SHALL WALK, AND NOT FAINT." Isaiah 40:31
On November 10,2001 I was there at my father's door.He held it open in WELCOME!! I had not seen my father since 1983. I had not spoken to him since 1988. In 1986 his heart was broken and he set me away from himself. When we saw each other it was as if the years had not passed. We stood there hugging and crying.
He had been hurting and believing a lie for all those years. I was lost as to why our relationship, that had been close, was broken.
We spent seven weeks together, claiming back some of what had been stolen. Bringing a LIE to the surface and highlighting it with the TRUTH. So much time and memories had been lost or taken away. But I believe that my Father in Heaven loves us so much that He will restore to us ALL that was taken PLUS! Just like He did for Job.
I don't remember when I claimed the following scripture for my life. It seems that I have always had it before me.
" THO' HE SLAY ME, YET, WILL I TRUST IN HIM." Job 13:15
It is engraved on the Tapestry of my soul.
On December 8,2001 I heard for the first time my father tell the story out of his own memory and heart.
He said " I would come home from work and hear you crying. So I would hurry inside and you would be lying in your bed.
I would say," What's wrong with Daddy's baby?" And you would stop crying. That always made me smile.
I would pick you up and hold you all night. When I would try to lay you down you would wake and start crying again.
So I put your bed next to mine, so you could hold tight to one of my fingers all night. It was the only way you would sleep.
Sometimes my arm would go to sleep but I would not take my hand away.
As my father told me the story he had a smile in his voice.
A tear in his eye. We sat in silence for a long time. He, 70 years old, in the winter of his life. Me, 49, in the autumn of mine.
I watched as he laid his head back against his chair and closed his eyes, seemingly lost in his memory. I studied his weathered face, his gray thinning hair with eyes blue as his.
Something began to happen in my heart. Feelings of being 'cherished' were awakened. Feelings buried deep, dormant. Feelings that others cruelty and jealousy had stolen.
I felt the 'Daddy's little baby' I once was to him all those years ago.
Truth dawned and my heart was pounding.
I WAS cherished and loved by him all those years ago.
I STILL was! I, also realized I was that little baby, somewhere in his heart... in his memory.
Just like my children and grandchildren are in my mind.
My memories? Every 'good' memory of childhood were because of him. I found what I had been waiting to come to me.
My father's love. It had always been. Just like I knew it was. Just waiting for me. The love I had so longed was his.
I sat entertaining that sweet emotion,' Cherished.' The idea of it fresh, new. An emotion emerging from the darkened halls of my childhood.
It took me completely by surprize. I tried on it's cloak. Walked around in my heart with it draped over my shoulders.
I found it was an emotion I wanted to retain. An intense emotion that brought a gentle comfort.
Meeting Cherish also brought me to an old friend. Her cousin, ' Gratitude.' Gratitude always brought me back to the Truth of my Father in Heaven.
His gifts to me of love and mercy have been never ending. Eventually, I rose from the couch. Went into the bedroom.
Got down on my knees and let the tears fall.
I could only whisper,'thank You,' over and over to my Father in Heaven. His understanding of the needs of a little girls heart in the body of a woman
can never be put into words. Never be expressed adequately.
We spent those seven weeks telling each other the things we each
needed to hear. I told him all about my life and the things he had missed. He told me how much he loved and missed being in my life.
My Heavenly Father sent me a precious, priceless gift. He delivered it by way of my earthly Daddy
"A GIFT IS AS A PRECIOUS STONE IN THE EYES OF HIM THAT HATH IT:
:WHITHERSOEVER IT TURNETH, IT PROSPERETH." Proverbs 17:8
When I was seven years old I heard somebody say they loved me.
" FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH, BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE."
