MY SEASON OF BEGINNING
Part II
At the age of seven I heard somebody say they loved me.
" FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD,
THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON,
THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH,
BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE "
John 3:16
I heard those words and something clicked in my child's mind.
I KNEW I was all the bad things I heard about in the Bible.
I knew I was sinful. I was told almost everyday.
I knew I was ugly, not wanted and told repeatedly,
no one would EVER want me.
I was told, 'I wish you had been the one who died!'
Those words haunted me for many years even after I became an adult.
I heard those terrible things and I believed them.
Quite often at that tender age,
I also wished it had been me that had died.
Instead of a little sister born 9 months after me,1953.Another dies in 1955.
I guess I heard they were in Heaven and I thought it must be a WONDERFUL place.
In fact as a little child I had a dream about one of the sisters that died.
She was in Heaven.
Laying in a big fluffy bed.
There were angels ( I guess) smiling at her and singing songs.
She was smiling. She was happy. I remember looking at her and feeling sad. Thinking, I wish it was me.
When I awoke, I cried.
But the day I heard, John 3:16, I was stunned!
The very SAME person that told me I was nothing, was NOW telling me...'that God so LOVED!?'
Hmmmm...how could that be???
I think I KNEW that GOD was GREAT because of a Christian Grandmother, Dora Marie Mousette Rogers.
She must have told me. I give her grateful credit. I believe it was SHE who prayed for my Salvation.
So, in my little mind I was thinking...
'someone is lying.'
Now I 'knew' that God does NOT lie.
So...who could be lying?
The very SAME person who verbally and physically abused me.
Aha! I thought...SHE is a liar!
To me, God was BIG and GREAT! Somebody IMPORTANT!
I heard the words of John 3:16 and I kept repeating them.I had to learn them for a program in church.
When I would make a mistake...pow!
I can laugh now. Because somewhere in all that mess, my little heart and mind was quickened to the TRUTH that 'somebody' LOVED ME!!
And NOT just any 'somebody.' The 'somebody' was GOD!
That 'Somebody' was God, The Father.
He loved ME, even tho' I was nothing in the eyes of man.
He saw me for what I was to Him.
He loved ME so much that He gave His most precious possession.
He loved ME so much that for a moment in time He willingly allowed His heart to be broken.
That 'Somebody' was God, The Son.
Who saw me as a little lost lamb.One with no foundation or value to anyone.
Except, The Father.
The Son, loved ME so much He chose the harsh realities of humanity.
He took on the rejections, pains, sorrows, mockings and alienations of Man.
He took the beating and cursing and torment because I could NOT!
He purchased MY pardon for all the bad I was!
He died and battled the pits of Hell.
Gained the Keys to Life & Death.
TO conquer and Live AGAIN!...for me.
IF I had been the only sinner...He STILL would have taken that Cross for me.
He loved me so much that He provided His own Blood to write my name with in the Lamb's Book of Life.
That 'Somebody' was God, The Holy Spirit.
He knew the choices and decisions I would make in my life.
He knew if I did not receive Jesus, as a little child, I might not have been able to be reached as an adult.
The weeds of rejection and fears may have choked out all the ability to be vulnerable and trusting.
The Holy Spirit, whispered in my ear that day, "God so loved the world..."
Then He said, "God SO loved YOU... Roberta."
I believed it. I never questioned it. I accepted it.
In church that Sunday, December, 1959, I made my way out of the pew and rushed towards the Pastor, Dr. Maylon Watkins.
It was Metropolitan Baptist Church in Miami, Florida.
I remember looking up into his face. How BIG he looked to me. But I had no fear.
He looked at me and said, " What do you want?"
I boldly blurted out, " I want Jesus in my heart!"
He smiled and took my hand and said,"OK."
I knelt there at the Altar and asked Jesus to come into my little girl heart.
I told Him thank you for dying on the Cross for me.
I thanked Him for loving me when I thought no one did.
Then I KNOW The Father smiled and wept.
Jesus knocked on the door of my heart. I opened the door and HE extended His hand to me.
The Holy Spirit entered in.
The Angels in Heaven sang a song of jubilation!!
That was the BEGINNING SEASON OF MY LIFE.
As time went on and I grew in the Word, God placed me where I would be taught and nurtured.
He showed me what He saved me 'from.'
It has been a struggle at times to begin to understand what He saved me 'for'.
I would like to tell you all the abuse ceased but it did not.
But Jesus, gave me ALL I needed to survive.
Later, He began to teach me who I was IN Him, Christ Jesus.
He used the Psalms,esp. Psalm 139.
He used Song of Solomon. He used Hosea, Isaiah, Jeremiah and Job.
He used Proverbs to teach me what to do and if I was obedient what I would receive.
He used Philippians, John, Romans,Ephesians, Galatians and the list goes on. Just like He has done for ALL His children.
One day I wanted more, NOT from Him, because He had given everything to me when I got Saved. I wanted more OUT of ME, to be used FOR HIM.
That day I asked Him to be Lord of my Life.
To take complete control. He showed me a bicycle stuck with one training wheel in a rut, going around in circles.
It was the moment for me to surrender completely. I will write about it one day.
I will share with you more of the journeys we have gone on together in days to come. Everyday has been an adventure.
At times I dont know where to begin when I have the opportunity to share about my life with Jesus.
I have more stories than I can count.
I am in one right now that takes a great deal of me 'listening' and seeking understanding.
I would like to tell you that I have been a 'perfect' Christian. But I cannot because alas` I am human and 'I CAN be angry and sin BEFORE the sun goes down.
But I am NOT afraid of being rejected by my Father or of my Lord, Christ Jesus, or of the Holy Spirit who is my Comfort.
But I do have a perfect heart (because Jesus put it in me) that seeks God every second of my life.
Because I want so very much to be IN His Will and to please Him.
When I share with you these words from my heart it is to bring Honor to Christ, who has been EVERYTHING to me. AND to tell you...He WANTS to be EVERYTHING to YOU, also!
" For God SO LOVES YOU!!!!"
IF you have never met Him face to face. Never placed your trust, heart and soul in His hands. Won't you do it today? You have nothing to lose and so MUCH to gain.
The time is at hand when The King Christ Jesus WILL come to claim His own.
Don't you want to be one of them?
Here is the Roman Road... Why don't you read it?
1.Romans 3:23
2.Romans 6:23
3.Romans 5:8
4.Romans 10:9
And DON'T forget...
John 3:16
" FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD,
THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON,
THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH,
BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE."
'whosoever'
is
YOU!
" HE SEARCHED ME,
HE KNEW ME,
HE CALLED ME BY NAME."
BY
Roberta Rogers Wilcox
@2002
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